


Winter's Lullaby

by Kahnah



Series: Dioscuri [5]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Different Worlds, Gen, Multiverse, Star-crossed multiverse, so the hype is real!!!, the final of it actually, this is so complicated but I try my best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2020-10-24 21:08:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 34,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20712548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kahnah/pseuds/Kahnah
Summary: "Let's find the end of our story. Won't we, Mahr?"





	1. House of Memory

**Author's Note:**

> Holy shit, here we go. This is the climax of Pollux' story and the 'ending' of the multiverse.
> 
> That doesn't mean I won't write more stories inside the multiverse but it none that will be so invested in it.
> 
> I'm quite excited about this one here so I hope you guys enjoy!

Winter’s Lullaby

Chapter 1

House of Memory

  
  


_ I don‘t understand why you‘re hesitating. _

"Of course you wouldn‘t," Gavin whispered.

_ These humans in all these worlds are not important to you. You haven‘t met them, you haven‘t interacted with them. They are just thoughts in your head, just ideas. Lifeless stories. _

"It‘s not that damn easy, okay?" Gavin spat. He was sitting with his back pressed against the wall, head lowered to not see the world in front of him, the opportunity to destroy it all.

It would be easy and he had done it way too many times, so Mahr‘s questions were probably understandable, but that was the problem. He was sick and tired of it, but that wasn‘t an excuse.

"You were there with me when Geoff told us those endless stories, right?" he asked instead, because that was also something he was sick and tired of. Fighting with Mahr wasn‘t the right way, it only exhausted him.

"You were listening when he told us about Pollux and Castor and all those others. You didn‘t have to and still you did because you enjoy stories, Mahr. Everybody does."

Mahr didn‘t talk back and Gavin smiled to himself.

"So tell me, those stories you heard. Were they lifeless to you?"

No they weren‘t. Gavin knew that even if Mahr wouldn‘t admit it. That was fine though, and he tore at his hair to try and get himself to stand up.

_ It‘s harder because these stories were made up by yourself? _

Gavin hummed thoughtfully, "I‘m not sure how much influence I had on that. Maybe in the beginning but they have all started to live by themselves. They started to breath without me."

_ What about Regulus then? _

Gavin felt how he grew defensive, tearing on his hair until his scalp hurt. He didn‘t like Mahr talking about it, this glaring weakness of him, this being that shouldn‘t be but still was. Michael who had just appeared like that, able to see him, to reach his hand out. Michael who had searched for him to come and ask for help.

Like Ray who had knocked on his window, Gavin had felt pleased by that.

_ He‘s like your Michael. He‘s a protector. It‘s like you shaped him especially for that. _

"Shut up."

_ The first time I took you, he was the one you were calling for as the shadows stole you. _

Yeah, as the bed beneath him had all but swallowed him whole.

_ "Michael! Help me! Get me out! Get me out! GET ME OUT!" _

Shutting his eyes tightly, he tried to block out the memories. The bed beneath him and how Mahr had pressed him into it. Such a powerful fear that he could still taste it on his tongue.

"Michael was the one who faced you in the end," he growled. "Michael didn‘t fear you."

_ Are you hoping Regulus won‘t fear me either? I could find out for you. _

"Leave him out of it."

Mahr fell silent and Gavin was a bit surprised by that. He could feel the demon digging for something; a retort, something to hurt him with? Possibly, but he still let them because he didn‘t think they’d find anything.

But sure enough, Mahr found a memory in the depths, where it was even hard for Gavin to reach. However, it wasn‘t meant to hurt. It still did - that was unavoidable - it was so sweet and so far out of reach.

It was Michael on the roof. Not the time when he had held him so that Ray could stab him through the heart nor the time Michael was sickeningly protective towards the end. No, a way younger Michael, with wild hair standing every which way. Gavin had held so tight to him, fearing he would forget all caution there at the edge of the roof. But not only that, he had been eager to find out what kind of trouble Michael could get him into. He was ready for it because Michael was a little taller and so much stronger than him.

By the Gods, he would‘ve followed him everywhere and anywhere.

_ "Why would you want to jump down there?" _

And Michael, beautiful Michael with his eyes of sunshine and a dream in his heart had grinned down to him. Just waiting for the next adventure, just waiting for his future.

_ "Dunno. I think it would be like flying." _

Now Gavin, cowered against a wall in an unknown world, as far away as he could be from him, smiled. The memory felt warm, a warmth he had given up upon coming here, but Mahr let him have it right now. The imagery of the roof on a nice summer day, when the tiles beneath were nearly too hot to sit on and the clean white sheets would hide the three of them from the rest of the world.

Back then he had watched Michael and Ray so closely, always fearing they would turn their backs like everyone else had. His greatest treasures back then and oh, how he had adored them each step on the way.

The memory weighed heavy on his chest but not in a bad way. Rather like a tight embrace, a heavy blanket in cold nights.

It got him to lift his head and look upon the world in front of him.

A city like so many others. Clean and impersonal buildings that were reaching for the sky and those strange artificial lights. At first Gavin had found them weird, too bright and too many, but by now he had started to love them a little. They were everywhere, but the humans weren‘t paying any mind to them. They were busy with whatever, because Gavin hadn‘t bothered to look too deep. Looking too deep, searching for familiar souls just meant that it hurt more. He had stopped doing that.

Instead he closed his eyes and thought back to Michael on the roof. Would he also think about jumping from one of those impossibly high buildings here?

Yes, because the height had never mattered in that moment. It had been the perspective of freedom, the wind in their hair and the warm rays of sunshine. They had been so young, there was no thought about the ground or crashing or pain.

No, it would feel like flying.

Gavin held on to the feeling before it would disappear again, because childhood was full of magic, but so fleeting. Just a blink of an eye and oh, how sad that was.

Now it filled his heart again and he let go of his hair and pushed himself up. At least he tried to; his body was too heavy, even with the help of his arms he just couldn‘t get himself to stand.

Sinking back down, he let his head hit the wall behind him.

This wasn‘t the first time this had happened, but it had become more frequent. The weight of the worlds just too much for his soul. He knew that he would get up eventually. He always did. He kept marching on, but his legs and arms were already shaking from the strain.

Mahr was feeling the lingering weakness as well - he didn’t like it. They were unfamiliar to the feeling, and now he could feel Mahr sitting by his side, radiating concern. How funny.

Catching his breath, he tried again. Hands pushing against the wall, searching for something to pull himself up on, but his cloak felt so heavy, dragging him back down.

_ Get up _ _,_ Mahr told him uselessly, and Gavin laughed.

Reaching out his hand, he asked, "Help me?"

There was a presence against his hand but not with enough mass to actually grasp. Wasn't that interesting?

Gavin could remember the instances when Mahr had moved him, had stopped him from doing something. Mahr in the night, pressing bruises into his skin. They were also growing weak, just a shadow after all. Gavin lowered his arm.

Mahr disappeared from his side, and that was the real fun part to imagine. He knew that Mahr was returning to Geoff now. Mahr was running home, asking Dad for advice, and the picture made Gavin laugh. Letting his heavy head drop against his knees he chuckled and if he didn't know that Geoff would be worried, Gavin would full out laugh.

In front of him the world continued to turn; people passed by without noticing him and without knowing that he could end them. Just a few words from him, only words, and he could strike them down.

Still, without Mahr sitting on his shoulder it nearly felt like a piece of freedom. If he was sitting on a nice spot of grass or a bench he could pretend he was just people watching while he waited for someone. Michael and Ray after their training?

Yeah, that would be nice.

"It would be like flying," he muttered to himself.

Mahr appeared next to him, just popped up like a bothersome tune he couldn't get out of his head.

_ Geoff wants you to come back and rest. _

Geoff. When Mahr wasn't paying attention, they called him Geoff and not King Ramsey, that was also funny. It happened more often now, and when Mahr caught his thoughts he felt how the other hesitated. There was something nearly embarrassed about them.

Gavin pushed his hand against the wall once more but didn't even try. His body was shaking and he wouldn't be able to get up, not now. He could wait until days passed by around him, watching the people and pretending he was a part of it or he could return to Geoff.

"Alright."

Closing his eyes, he let Mahr do the work, let the demon pull him straight through the wall and away from this world. Traveling through the shadow was cold, but there was a warmth that followed. Geoff reaching out to him, pulling his soul in the right direction, because Mahr had granted him that power for occasions like this. When Gavin was too weak to return.

Gavin fell into Geoff and they both sat down heard on the glass floor, making waves ripple through their world.

"Hey buddy."

"Hey Geoff." He was leaning against Geoff's chest now and tilted his head back to grin up at him. It made the worried look in Geoff's eyes fade, and that was good. He hated that Geoff was so worried all the time.

"Ready for a nap?"

"Only if I get a story before sleeping," he said. "Mahr likes your stories as well. He called you Geoff."

Geoff hummed and brushed Gavin's hair out of his forehead. He didn't stop there, his fingers combing through his hair, and Gavin instantly felt sleepy. 

He wanted to stay awake until Geoff came up with a story but he knew he wouldn't be able to. No, he was already drifting off and even though Geoff knew that, he still started one of his stories. The one about dragons and the courageous prince and Gavin knew it by heart. As a child he had always imagined himself with the sword and shield, but now it was Michael as he fell asleep.

Geoff continued to talk though, because they both knew that Gavin wasn't the only one listening in.

When he woke up Geoff was still talking. Not to him, but to Mahr and he wasn't telling a story, his voice was too serious for that. They were discussing something, probably his condition, and Gavin wanted to join in. It was about him after all, but he couldn't move.

No, in that moment his body was so heavy that he couldn't do much more than open his eyes. The stars above were pushing him down, weighing so heavily on him that he feared breaking through the glass beneath them and plummeting into Mahr.

_ He's awake. _

Geoff turned around to look at him, and there was that expression again. He put a hand on Gavin's cheek and stroked it with his thumb.

"Okay?"

The touch helped enough to make him shake his head, and Geoff frowned.

"We'll figure this out, buddy. You just sleep for a bit longer."

Geoff pulled his head into his lap and started carding his hand through his hair again. That felt nice, and with the heavy green cloak wrapped around him as well he felt like a child again, sneaking into the chambers of the king and falling asleep in front of the fire.

Granted that hadn't happened much, he had never dared to face Geoff's guards and ask for entry, but the few times he had done it anyway had been nice. When the bad dreams had grown so bad that even angry looks couldn't stop him anymore. Usually he had just ran down the hall to Jack's room because he was always welcome there. Right now Jack felt so far away though, and he didn't want to think about him.

Geoff had told him that Jack had died a few years after him and that knowledge felt like someone was squeezing his chest. He had questions about it, about Jack after everything that happened, but that was one topic Geoff didn't like to talk about. It hurt him as well and so Gavin didn't ask, just like he was pushing all those thoughts of him away right now.

Now he just drifted back to sleep.

His condition had worsened shortly after he had brought Regulus back to his world, so naturally Mahr blamed Michael for it. Gavin however was pretty sure it had started even sooner but he couldn't quite pinpoint when exactly.

It had happened in other worlds where he just couldn't get his body to move and influence the world. That had been thanks to his mind, though, when he had looked too deep into a world and had found old friends there. It had been a heavy, mental exhaustion, because he didn't want to end those stories. No, he wanted to sit back and watch them.

What was happening now was different. It was an invisible weight that wouldn't let him move even if he wanted to, that pressed down on his soul and pinned it to the ground. It reminded him of the time when he had been poisoned. His body was just giving up on him, and no matter what he wanted it didn't matter because his strength was all gone.

To some degree he nearly welcomed it. It wasn't his fault then that the stories weren't ending fast enough. He couldn't change this weight and so he couldn't go out there and end worlds, couldn't do what Mahr wanted him to. It was out of his control and for once he relished in it.

If it wasn’t for Geoff's concern he would lay here, laughing in Mahr's face.

"Buddy?" He was shaken softly. "Can you get up?"

Opening his eyes again, he was still so lovely bundled up in Geoff's cloak and felt instantly better. He actually didn't really want to get up then, but he pushed himself to sit up. It was working better because he had rested for a while and Geoff seemed pleased by that. Sure enough, his hand still pressed against Gavin's forehead and he had to laugh.

"I don't think I can get a fever, Geoff."

"Let me."

So he did because Geoff's touch felt good on his skin.

"You were never a sickly kid. It feels strange seeing you like this."

_ I kept him healthy. _

Gavin couldn't help but roll his eyes at Mahr's word. The demon was fishing for some gratitude from Geoff and when Gavin pointed it out mentally, the demon shrank back.

"I feel better now," Gavin assured Geoff, and Geoff nodded. It didn't banish the concerned look in his eyes though and Gavin hated seeing him like that.

At least he went straight to business and didn't dwell on it.

"We have a theory about what's going on."

"Okay."

Geoff held out his hand and for a second Gavin just stared at it, unsure as to what he was supposed to see. Then the dark waters beneath the thin separation began to seep through. It wasn't much, barely more than a trickle, but Gavin still watched it with a bad feeling in his stomach. The barrier was the only thing that kept them from being devoured by Mahr and anything coming through was worrying.

To his surprise the dark water turned silver when it reached their side, glowing in the everlasting darkness around. Pretty, glowing, melancholic, and somehow becoming more so as it rose up to follow Geoff's movements.

It took awhile for him to realize Geoff was actually drawing a specific image, a shimmering picture between them, and Gavin couldn't help but smile. That was how he had imagined the invisible lines connecting the constellations when Geoff had painted them in the sky.

"This is you."

"A flower?" he asked amusedly. There was a cute, silver flower with stem and petals and everything floating between them.

"It's a metaphor, so don't get too full of yourself."

"Fine, fine."

Gavin sobered up while he watched the flower begin to sprout more and more petals, way more than looked appropriate. The head of the flower began to bend downwards until the new petals stopped growing.

"Those are the stories you created," Geoff explained needlessly. "You've been holding them up all this time while also plucking them one after another."

The picture between them did just that, losing petals that disappeared into nothing.

Loves me, loves me n-

"It's not fast enough," Gavin muttered. "I'm not fast enough, right?"

" You're losing your strength with time and thus the weight is becoming too much." Geoff said. They all watched the flower now, how it continued to bow its head until  _ snap- _ the stem broke, the head hitting the surface, the petals getting crushed, and soon, soon it would wither and die.

Gavin pressed his lips together but didn't know what to say. Opposite of him Geoff looked as grim as Gavin felt.

"Is it already too late?" he asked slowly.

"We don‘t know that, Gavin."

_ I figured we could go on another run, _ Mahr threw in.  _ If we end enough worlds at once it will take some of the weight. _

"He can barely move anymore, there is no way you can destroy enough worlds in time," Geoff said. "Also, we all know that the worlds end gradually. You guys can‘t just go in there and end it on the spot, that‘s not how this works."

Gavin watched closely while Geoff reached out to take the flower again. Some of the petals were crushed now, falling down and sinking into the darkness beneath, and Gavin felt his as his throat tightened.

"What we have to do first is strengthen this part," Geoff explained and held the broken part of the stem together. That way the flower stood again. "Then we can focus on the weight. There are quite a few worlds about to end, right? So we just have to stall until then."

"This part, the stem, represents the beginning?" Gavin asked carefully. The other two had already talked about it but he had been too sleepy at the time to get details. This though, this right here filled him with something like hope. "Is it our old world, Geoff? Do I have to strengthen the memories or something? I have to go back there?"

To see the others again, to relive his childhood maybe. He had been at his happiest back then, and to think about going back... the sun on his face and the sheer endless days. And sure, the evil eyes on him, but he knew by now how to deal with them. Gods, he had lived through way worse than some bitter words and heated glances.

It could be like a break from this strange land here, to go back home even if it would only be for a while.

_ -be like flying." _

Geoff didn‘t answer and so Gavin returned his gaze to Geoff to see him looking just as grim as before. 

_ You can never return to your own story. _

"But Mahr-"

_ We have to strengthen the story where it begins to branch off. That‘s the weakest part. _

Now Gavin began to feel uneasy. Where it branched off?

"The Nether?" And he had never thought he would mutter that word pleadingly, would hope to return but-

_ Before that. _

When he had died. Out in the cold and under the tree until snow covered him whole.

_ "You stay here." _

_ "No." _

_ "You can watch the lake. You like to do that, right?" _

Geoff grasped his arm and he hadn‘t even noticed how he had wrapped them around himself, how his fingers dug into his flesh like claws.

"I won‘t go back there," he told Geoff. "We can try Mahr‘s idea. I could just end the worlds instantly, just drag them down and let them sink into Mahr."

Geoff didn‘t even pay attention to those ideas, he just shook his head and said, "I‘ll go."

"What?"

"I‘ll go back to before the Nether. I‘ll strengthen the memory or whatever. We‘ll figure it out."

His first reaction was relief. Gavin didn‘t want to return, he avoided thinking back to this as much as possible, because that was something he couldn‘t get over. He didn‘t know how anyone could get over it, but to return there and see it again? This time not through the veil of a high fever and a long sickness and the eyes of a child, but as the being he was now? He wouldn‘t even know what he would do, what he would feel. What if he tried to stop it? What a mess that would turn out to be!

Next was love. This unbearable, simple love he felt for Geoff, because Geoff would do anything to protect him. Geoff had taken him in no matter what anyone had said and Geoff had loved him even if he‘d brought the shadows to his kingdom. Geoff had even followed him here, leaving behind the kingdom he loved so much. His life full of health and happiness.

Then lastly the anxiousness hit him. Geoff shouldn‘t see him like that. Back as a child he had been so weak and stupid. Following his father out into the cold like a damn puppy; and sure, yeah, everyone would tell him that it wasn‘t his own fault but that didn‘t matter. He hadn‘t fought for his life back then, hadn‘t even tried. All he had done was sit down there until he had disappeared beneath all the snow and the cold.

He didn‘t want Geoff to see him like that and if he did, if Geoff really could go there, no way he would pull through. No way Geoff wouldn‘t try to change something, to save him somehow, and that couldn‘t happen.

The last thought was influenced by Mahr, he knew that. The demon was whispering into his ear so that Geoff wouldn‘t be able to hear it, but Gavin had to agree.

"No."

"What do you mean, no?"

"I can‘t count on you."

"You can‘t count on me?" Geoff‘s grip turned painful but that was fair. Gavin had hurt him.

"Not with that," he tried to appease him but he didn‘t even dare to look him in the eyes, to face the damage he had caused. "Geoff, you‘re too emotional for that."

"Too emotional?" Geoff‘s voice climbed high, not helping his case at all, but then he forced Gavin to turn around. As Geoff grasped his face, Gavin couldn‘t do anything but look up to him.

"If after all that you truly believe I wouldn‘t do anything for you, Gavin, then I don‘t know-"

He broke off, and Gavin hated this. Hated seeing him like that, so pained and helpless. Geoff shouldn‘t be here; it was his own choice to come after him and Gavin loved him for giving up so much to join him in his solitude, but this wasn‘t in Geoff‘s nature. Being in the background, not able to go out there and fight for what was important to him.

_ Soon _ , Mahr reminded him, and Gavin pressed his lips together. He didn’t want to think about that right now.

"I don't doubt you, Geoff. How could I?" Reaching up, he took Geoff's hands in his. "But this would mean you'd have to go back and hurt me, and I don't think you could do that, alright?"

He squeezed Geoff's hands before shaking him off. He didn't want to appear rude but this discussion would get them nowhere. There would be nothing that would bring him from his decision because he was right, so instead he bodily turned away from the other.

"Mahr?"

"Gavin, I ca-"

He shook his head, ignoring Geoff. "Tell me what needs to be done?"

Geoff huffed angrily behind him but didn't interrupt him.

_ You expect me to know? _

"Well, you are a demon after all."

_ And this is just a theory of yours. _

"Can we even go back to that time?"

Mahr didn't answer and Gavin couldn't feel them for a while as they pondered over that. That left him with a very mad Geoff but neither of them addressed the issue.

After a while in awkward silence, Geoff got up and restlessly paced around. Each of his steps made waves appear that raced each other until they disappeared on the horizon of this glass marble. It was easier to watch those, something mesmerizing to it, and like this he didn't have to think about the situation.

A star fell into his field of view and crashed into the surface a bit further away. It's glittering remains floated for a moment longer before disappearing in the dark and Gavin didn't try to feel a thing. He knew the world, had influenced the people in charge a while ago and turned his back. Now it was finally over.

Looking up, he searched for Michael's world and found it still bright in the sky.

"This isn't right," Geoff barked out, and Gavin turned towards him. The other was standing a bit away, also looking up. His long cloak was nearly dragging on the floor.

"Geoff-"

"No, this wasn't part of the deal." Geoff was facing him now, steel in his blue eyes. "You or... or any of us going back to that time."

"This isn't a game that follows rules."

"I know that! Just let me be fucking angry, alright?"

He stomped around as if that would help, but sometimes Geoff's anger was cathartic. Sometimes Gavin felt like everything was just happening, was rushing all around him, and he was just swept away. He knew what he had to do, so it was easier to just get through with it. Head down and marching on until it was over. If he didn't have to think about it too hard, he could pretend to just be at the sidelines, watching.

Sure, that wasn't right and probably weak and all kinds of other things but... but sometimes he was just too tired to care. He had fought for too long and now he was weary.

That's why Geoff's anger was good. With Geoff here, Geoff could get angry for him, could protest, and his voice was so much louder against Mahr. Gavin's own had grown hoarse with the years.

_ I can bring us there _ _,_ Mahr said, and Gavin fought not to flinch when the demon just appeared like that. Mahr was just whispering to him; they didn't want to face Geoff right now, which was a good call because Geoff was still fuming, and while Gavin watched him, he bit his lip. If he told Geoff this right now, the other would want to change places again. It would lead to a lengthy discussion and Gavin was just too tired of them.

He couldn't blame Geoff! Geoff was the one trying to protect him here, but it made him sick to imagine the consequences of Geoff going himself. No, Gavin wanted to keep him from that heartbreak.

"Take me then."

Geoff had heard him speak and was turning around. "Don't you da-"

"Sorry," Gavin just said before he let Mahr's claws take him.

The snow was blinding after Mahr‘s shadow and Gavin had to blink for a moment to actually see. Trees, their branches heavy with snow, and as always seeing it made his heart skip a beat. He hated winter and he would never stop. Just being here made him tense, and fuck, he hadn‘t thought that through, had he? He could‘ve at least tried to mentally prepare himself and sure, this was still better than sending Geoff here but-

His eyes fell on the hut nestled in between the trees and full out panic reached for him.

"Geoff!" he called out but that was stupid. Geoff wasn‘t here because he had just left him behind right now and he was alone besides-

"Mahr!"

_ I‘m here, dead boy. _

And they were, settling heavy on his shoulder, and right now it was comforting. He didn‘t want to stay here alone, he didn‘t even truly want to stay here in the first place.

_ We can‘t go back, not right now. _

"What?"

_ It took most of my strength to even get us here. This isn‘t part of your stories or the past, just your memory, but it‘s the only place we can reach. _ Mahr fell quiet but Gavin could feel them ponder.

_ Your weakness also spreads to me, dead boy. We have to at least try to fix this. _

"Oh Gods," Gavin whispered and closed his eyes. He didn‘t want to see the hut right now and instead focused on his breathing.

"What are we even doing here? What do you expect from me?"

_ I don‘t know yet. Move forward for now. _

"Oh fuck you." But he did open his eyes again.

The hut in front of him looked... strange. For a moment he couldn't exactly pinpoint why, then he realized that it was somehow twisted.

Everything was the wrong scale, the door way too high and the single window too big, nearly taking in the entire wall. That couldn't be right and still it felt familiar.

_ You're seeing it like a child. _

Mahr’s words made him shiver, but they were right. Now as he stopped in front of the door he actually had to reach up for the knob, because that's how it always had been.

Inside it was dark because the fire wasn't lit. After the blinding white outside it was actually hard to make anything out but then he realized that wasn't the only reason. The closer he looked the less he could see.

The main room of the house contained the fire and a table with four crudely made chairs. He knew that on some level, but he couldn't picture it anymore. What he saw in front of him was like a painting someone had smudged. There were forms and lines and he knew what it was supposed to be, but it wasn't right.

It was everywhere now that he paid attention. The thick wood the hut was built out of was smooth, no texture even though he knew it should be there. The logs in the fireplace were just a black mass without a real form because as a child that hadn't mattered. Things like that hadn't been important.

There were more important things and rules he had to obey, and when he remembered that, he grew tense. There was a shadow on the chair, getting up now, and all his knowledge that this wasn't real didn't matter. Gavin raised his hands to protect his face and cowered in front of his father, expecting a blow to the back of his head. It never came and when he dared to open his eyes again, nobody was there. He also had dragged snow into the hut because he had forgotten to tap his boots outside.

Fuck.

He didn't say it out loud, couldn't even imagine the anger that would bring from his father. His heart was beating so harshly and it was hard to let his arms sink again.

_ This was the place you wished for when we met, _ Mahr reminded him, but Gavin couldn't answer. He was frozen on the spot, staring at the smudged table and waited for his father.

_ Why would you want to come back here when you were so scared all the time? _

"I didn't realize back then," he whispered. "This was home. I didn't know what else home was."

Living under his tyrannical father who despised him simply for being too similar to him. It was such a stark contrast to living with Geoff in the castle or even Jack. God, Jack would've never raised his hand against him, not even if he brought snow into the room.

Jack would've told him what he did wrong and then help him get the snow off his boots, all without raising his voice. Jack loved him.

Something moved to his right and finally ripped him away from the table. In the doorway leading deeper into the hut stood a little girl, and Gavin's heart stopped.

The little girl was pushing her hands against her face as if they were playing hide and seek, as if he wouldn't be able to see her if she just couldn't see him. Her blonde pigtails hung over her shoulder.

Gavin stared down at his sister in her rough looking dress that their mother had sewn and his mouth grew dry. It had been a long, long time since he'd thought about the twins.

The girl laughed, twirled around and disappeared into the darkness of the home.

"Wait!" Gavin was after her, grasping the doorframe and looking up the short hallway. The girl was skipping towards the room furthest away and he knew it was the twins' bedroom. She would disappear in there and lock him out. The twins had always played by themselves, no need for their sickly older brother, so why bother now?

But he needed her now, because he wasn't sickly anymore, he could play along and he was so much taller and stronger now.

"Annie? Do you want a piggyback ride?" he blurted that out before he could stop himself, and the girl hesitated. She didn't turn to him though, and Gavin didn't know if he should step closer, feeling a bit awkward. She could hear him? Wasn't she just a memory of his?

There was movement in the twin's bedroom and there was Ruth, sticking her head out to look what the ruckus was about. Even her face was smudged, black holes where her eyes should be that seemed to smear over her whole face. The pigtails were wrapped like a noose around her neck.

"Piggyback ride?" she asked and even her mouth wasn't really there. Just a black, endless maw that turned Gavin's stomach.

Annie turned around now, pigtails dangling like lifeless limbs and her face a copy of her sister.

"I want a story instead." The hole that was supposed to be her mouth didn't move. It was just there, or not, and Gavin couldn't take his eyes from her.

Frozen in the doorway, he couldn't think, but both of them were staring at him now, waiting for an answer. A part of him wanted to run away, to turn his back on this nightmare and forget all this.

"A story?" he asked instead.

"Yeah, Gavvy. You know the best stories."

"Don't let Daddy hear though. You know what he thinks about fairytales."

He did. 

Stepping closer, he asked, "Do you guys know the story about Pollux and Castor?"

Their smiles were grotesque, a black abyss that slashed through their faces.

"We do!"

Then they were gone. As sudden as they had appeared they were gone again and Gavin was left standing there, listening to his blood rushing in his ears.

Annie and Ruth. He hadn't even remembered their names before but now that he had seen them again, had heard their voices again, it had come back to him. The twins with their laughter he could hear throughout the hut, who were playing with little figures of wood that their father had carved just for them.

Had they been sad when he had been gone? They hadn't played much towards the end because he had been locked in a room to not pass on his fever. Had they asked were Gavvy was? What had his father told them?

His mother?

She had loved him. She had sat at his bed, taking care of him and singing the lullaby, but oh, she knew better than to raise her voice against her husband. Even when one of her children was suddenly missing?

Gavin didn't know and the questions were eating away at him.

_Your father took that from you, _ Mahr reminded him.  _ Your sisters. Your mother. Your home. But he also took You from Them. _

"I don't-" he began, but then didn't know how to end the sentence. I don't want to know? That was a lie. I don't care? An even bigger one.

I don't mind?

Closing his eyes, he let his head rest against the too high walls. Walls that reached up into the sky to end in a distant ceiling because as a child it had been just like that.

"What else is here?" he asked, because he didn't know what else he wanted to see. If he'd go into the room where the twins had always played, would they sit there with their blank faces? Would they ask him to play and tell stories like he had done in another life?

What if he wanted that? To just get lost in child's play?

_ I can't answer that. _

"You're a shitty demon, Mahr."

_ The best one you ever had though. _

That made him laugh. Mahr was right and it lifted a bit from the heaviness from his chest. Opening his eyes again, he knew exactly where he had to go. If he really wanted to strengthen his memories from this place or whatever they were doing here, he had to see the place he had spent most of his childhood.

His room was tiny, even through his child-vision, or maybe because of it. He had spent so many hours staring at the four walls that he had clearly remembered every crack in the wood and the scary faces the grain would paint if he looked too deep.

That was still there when he entered the room, an overwhelming amount of detail after the smudged world of before.

In the corner was his bed, made out of straw and sewed together bags. Back as a child that had been the most comfortable place he could think off, so visiting the castle had been a bit of a shock. Not only the comfort but the sheer size of the room he had been put in.

Here was only a table beside the bed, enough to place a bowl on when his mother brought him food. That was it, that had been his world.

This room with the faces in the walls and the window to the world outside. The sheer endless amount of snow falling whenever he opened his eyes.

There was no ghost here, no blank faced child laying in bed, staring at him out of abysses.

He could see the dent in the straw where someone had laid for a long time but he didn't even dare to touch it, too scared to get trapped in that bed again.

There was a noise coming from the front of the house and he turned around to face the short hallway. It took him a moment before he realized he heard steps, and they weren't the soft ones of his sisters running around. Those were boots that dragged snow into the room because they were allowed to, because those boots brought coins home, and so they were the king of this place, the heartless ruler of this hut.

His father had just come in and that filled him with such a childish panic that he couldn't move.

_ Calm down. _

He couldn't, no way. Behind him was his bed, and he could try and hide beneath it. That's what kids did when there were worse things than the monster hiding there.

Back when he was a child he hadn't been able to because he’d been sick and weak and asleep. At least until his father had burst into this very room, hand outstretched and-

"Come with me, Gavvy."

Hearing  _his_ voice so clearly was like a lightning strike. Gavin flinched and the steps still grew closer and he couldn't. He could do many things but not this.

"Mahr," he whispered because if his father would hear him talking to someone, he would run to his room. "Get me out."

_ Face him. It's just a memor- _

"Mahr!" More insistent, more afraid. The steps were too close now and without thinking, without so much as catching his breath, Gavin dropped to his knees. There, beneath his bed nestled Mahr and he stretched his hand out to reach for them.

The steps stopped and he knew his father was standing behind him, was looking at him. He wouldn't turn around; if he didn't see his father, he wasn't real. He couldn’t take it, hearing his father use his nickname. He never had before; just in that moment - and that was wrong.

Gavvy was a name from his sisters, a name that only Michael and Ray used. It didn't belong to his father!

"Mahr!"

And finally, finally, Mahr took his hand and pulled him into the darkness beneath his bed.

"I told you not to go!" 

An angry voice, hands grasping his arms, and he flinched away. His father, trying to tear him away. It was so hard to shake himself awake from the nightmare.

But the hard grip and anger faltered,seeming to realize the mistake; correcting it. 

"You're shaking, buddy."

Buddy. Not this fake Gavvy, and Gavin opened his eyes.

Geoff was kneeling next to him, his hand still on his arm but only to comfort and there wasn't anger. No, Geoff rarely got angry at him and the few times he had, it had been justified. Usually it was a deep concern that made him lash out and that was what Gavin saw now.

"Sorry," Geoff mumbled, a word his father wouldn't even know, and through all his shaking and his still pounding heart, Gavin barked out a laugh of relief. Gods, how he loved Geoff.

The way Geoff was keeping close, his fingers rubbing soothing circles into his shoulder, and his blue, blue eyes. Yeah, his father paled against all of that. 

Gavin quickly wrapped his arms around him. Geofff didn't even falter, one arm around Gavin's middle, the other hand buried in his hair as he held him as close as possible. He didn't even ask, just waited patiently until his shaking eased.

And now thinking back, Gavin was pretty sure that he could’ve fought his father off; at least long enough to run away. Then again, he had remembered everything as if he had still been a child. Who knew if he’d be as helpless as he'd been back then, and that was a frightening thought. He had come so far since then! To find all that he’d experienced to be nothing... what a crushing revelation that would've been.

_This wasn't enough, _ Mahr told him.  _ We didn't steady the memory enough. We'll ha- _

"Mahr," Geoff warned him, and the demon fell quiet. They were right though. Gavin had run away before the memory was over, but fuck that, he had every right to. It was scary and he hadn't expected that it would have such an effect on him.

"Was it at least worth it?" Geoff asked and that made Gavin hesitate. Was it?

He didn't feel as heavy anymore, the weights of the worlds weren't as prominent, so yeah, at least it seemed like the right thing to do.

"I think so."

"What happened?" 

"I don't want to talk about it right now," he admitted, and Geoff frowned. Before he could protest though, Gavin smiled. "I would rather tell you a story, Geoff. Have I ever told you about my sisters?"

"Your sisters? The twins?"

"Ruth and Annie, yeah."

And Geoff's eyes lit up, because until then Gavin didn't have a name for them, for anybody from his family, and finding something so precious again... yeah, it was good.

"Gavin, I would be honored to hear about them."


	2. Different Kinds Of Mercy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Did you ever watch a world die?"

Chapter 2

Different Kinds Of Mercy

Gavin gazed with big eyes at the desolated road that weaved itself through the city. He had seen roads like this in the more modern worlds before and knew about the tarmac humans used. It appeared to be quite durable, considering how many cars drove over it all day long but this one here was different.

The tarmac was nearly completely destroyed by footprints that had been pressed into it, and even though there were a lot, thousands of trails, he couldn't see a single person.

Sure, he could sense them but not in the city. They were somewhere hidden away.

"What happened here?" he asked into the silence of this world.

_ It looks like the sun burned this world away. _

"The sun?" Looking up, he could see the sun on a cloudless sky. It didn't look much different.

_ Might have been pollution. It weakens the defenses of the planet slowly until it can't be reversed. _

"If it's slow then why didn't they try to stop it?" Gavin asked and stepped on the tarmac himself. He didn't leave behind any trail but he also hadn't expected to. "That doesn't make any sense."

_ No, it doesn't. But men with power rarely do. _

Gavin hummed at that and wondered if he even had to do a thing. By the looks of it, this world would sort itself out. 

Before he could decide, there was the same stinging pain behind his eyes he had been getting since some time now. There were new travelers between the stories, but not the kind Aldebaran or Polaris had been. Those here had been called forth by a deal, a wish, but that didn't mean it wasn't a disturbance.

_ It's only temporarily, _ Mahr assured him again, and Gavin pulled a face.

"No matter how often you tell me that, it still hurts my head. You should stop granting random wishes, it just makes things more complicated."

_ I granted this wish long before King Ramsey woke you up. I figured it would stop the stories from multiplying. _

"Great job you did on tha-" The next jab of pain surely came from the demon. Gods, was Mahr pouting?

"I just wish you wouldn't act on your own," Gavin went on. He didn't want to give them the satisfaction of flinching.

_ Oh, so that's a privilege that's only reserved for you? I've aided you in enough selfish wishes lately. _

Gavin sighed but he really didn't want to discuss that. Also Mahr was kinda right.

"Okay, okay. It's just making me a bit nervous."

_ It's only making you nervous when it's not The Dreamwalker, interesting. _

"No need to be jealous."

Static beneath his skin made him shiver. That was rare, it meant he had confused Mahr.

_ Why would I be jealous? _

"Oh, Mahr," Gavin huffed. "One would think you were asleep for most of our time in the castle because you surely can’t pick up on humor or sarcasm."

_ Useless skills. _

"Sure, if you say so." Looking around the city once more, Gavin shook his head slightly. There was a wooden bench by the road but even from here he could see the wood had already turned black and was smoldering slowly by itself. The sun must have been incredibly hot to do that, and Gavin looked back up. It didn't look different and when he reached out towards it he couldn't feel anything. Of course he had given up on warmth, but seeing the sun on his skin meant he could at least pretend.

"I think this world is already done for. There's nothing we have to do here."

Whenever Regulus thought about him, it felt like a tiny spark in the back of his head. Still, Gavin treasured each and every instance when it happened, because that meant he wasn't forgotten. That among all those worlds he still existed to some people, even if it was only to Michael and Geoff.

Right now it wasn't enough to comfort him though. This temporary little problem Mahr had caused had turned to the worse, leaving him with a continuously irritating ache behind his eyes.

Sure, in the beginning everything had worked out just fine. The worlds had met but only briefly so that Mahr could grant the wish and sent half a dozen people through. Something that if Gavin had done it he would have certainly gotten himself an earful; but sure, if Mahr did it it was alright.

Only that it wasn’t. The people were sent back through and if that had worked out, Gavin figured it would all be alright, but one was stuck. One of them had been held back by a dying world and was now floating in between, not really here and not really there.

It was like something stuck in his eye, always there even if he wanted to pay attention to something else and growing worse with each time he tried to ignore it.

Now he would love to just deal with it, catch this person and get them where they belonged or even better, tell Mahr exactly what kind of shit they had done. A good old 'I told you so', but he had to use all his strength to keep on moving.

Their quick solution to strengthen his past had worked for a while, but now the worlds were again resting on his back, pushing him down. Just daring him to stop and take a break and not get back up again.

The solution would be simple, to go back to the little hut in the forest and do it all again, but the thought alone made him shiver. To think he would be back in his own room, to hear his father's steps coming closer, and Mahr was probably right, he had to face him. Look him in the eyes, maybe even resist him, to tell him all those words in Gavin's heart or worse, he would have to follow him.

_ "Come with me, Gavvy." _

Through the forest until they reached the lake. Just so he could once again be left alone there as snow tangled in his hair.

No, he wouldn't be able to do it. Not once and would one even be enough? The last memory, those of his sisters hadn't held back the weight long, and there were so many worlds left for him.

So all he had to do was to drag his feet on, because if he never rested, he wouldn't have to get up again.

_Just use that person, _ Mahr offered unhelpfully _ . They are already unmoored from their world and we have to catch them anyway. Send them back and let them relive the memory. It might be enough. _

"You have no idea if that's really the case."

_ The memory has to be relived to be strengthened. Just watch them from afar, it should be more effective than what we did last time. _

Yeah, maybe. Who knew. Gavin was too tired to truly think about it, to face this snowy place again.

_ If you're not comfortable with them, we could also use your precious Dreamwalker instead. _

Oh God, how horrifying that would be. He could see it now, Michael in that forest, snow on his shoulders.

But of course he could see that it had happened before. There had been a Michael and a Jeremy in that forest back then. They had found him.

Still, it would be different because he didn't know the Michael from back then. This Michael though, this Regulus was too close to his heart already, and Gavin didn't want him to see, just like he wouldn't want his Michael to see him like that. Maybe there was nothing to be embarrassed about, surely not, after all he had only been a child. But to think of himself as so helpless and then people who meant so much to him seeing him like that-

Regulus with his sunshine eyes didn't belong in that cold forest. Gavin wouldn't be able to take the way he'd look at him.

No, the thought alone was horrifying.

"Who is this other person? The one stuck in the dying world?" he found himself asking. He hadn't bothered checking before or even getting close but by the way Mahr hesitated, he already knew.

_ It's Geoff. _

"Of course," he had to laugh. It was either laughing or screaming at this point, because the person he least wanted back there was Geoff. Geoff or maybe Jack. No, Jack wouldn't even be able to take it, but Geoff? Yeah, Geoff had enough steel in his heart to walk through the forest with him but also enough love in his soul to be plagued by it for as long as he lived.

"Fate certainly is a bitch," he muttered. "Why not someone else? Someone I don't even know? One of those faces I stumble across in some worlds, so that they nearly seem familiar. It would've been so easy."

_ Because this path isn't meant to be easy, dead boy. _

Gods, sometimes Gavin wished Mahr had an actual body if only so he could physically hurt them. It wouldn't help their case, but damn, it would make him feel better.

_ Let's go,  _ Mahr urgent him.

As if Gavin was ready, as if he was strong enough to play his part in this, but if he stopped now, he wasn't sure if he could go on. So he just took a deep breath and pushed himself on. Thinking about Geoff's worrisome look whenever he laid eyes on him and the weight of the stories hanging above him that in the end would just crush him.

"Let's go."

Catching Geoff was easy. He was a sparkle floating above the doomed world and Gavin could only hold him in his hands. There he would be safe and for a moment he wanted to send him back to his own world. After all, that was where Geoff belonged and as this world was sinking into the darkness, they were growing ever so far apart.

But that wasn't a solution to his problem, and with a heavy heart he entered the doomed world instead. At least an explanation was in order before throwing Geoff into the past.

The sparkle between his hands felt warm and it reminded him of the time he had created the Lightbringer. Just like back then he let the stardust free, and his heart grew heavy. It was a good heavy though, because that at least was something right.

"Did you ever watch a world die?" he asked Geoff as he came to be. Gavin sat down next to him and couldn't help but look around. The world had grown sad and empty around him.

There had been a castle before,  _his_ castle, and his upbringing had been so, so familiar.

Worlds like these ones always felt bittersweet, too familiar on one hand, but the difference was so clear.

"No?" he answered for Geoff while the other slowly woke up. "You should take a look. No matter how often it happens, it's always unique, always bound to the feelings going with it. Surely always a sight to behold."

Geoff opened his blue, blue eyes and looked right at him. As someone who was caught in the In Between he could, just like the travelers did.

What followed were the obvious questions as Geoff sat up by his side. Where they were, what had happened. Where the ones that were his were because Gavin couldn't fool him for a second.

No, Geoff threw one glance at him and knew that he was wrong, a twisted version of his Gavin.

"Then who are you?"

What a loaded question.

"I am both. I am nothing. I am the first and I will be the last. The one who made the wish."

And suddenly he wanted to explain more, to share all this with someone else. He only had his Geoff for that and he loved Geoff so much, but the knowledge was too much to just carry on their shoulders.

And this Geoff was right here, was watching him attentively as if he could understand if Gavin would just explain. But oh, how could he in such a short amount of time?

Telling everything would take years and this world didn't have that time. It only had hours until they would crash into Mahr. 

It was also Mahr who stopped him from continuing, from spilling everything about the cycles and their meaning and his role in there.

Right, that wasn't the point of why he was here and it was also dangerous.

_ Don't need another traveler, _ Mahr reminded him, and Gavin's heart sunk.

Would this Geoff wonder about him until he came back for him? Search the night sky for a sign? A part of him knew that this wasn't really possible. The world this Geoff belonged to didn't have access to the Nether and still... looking into Geoff's eyes right now he could almost believe it.

"Come on, lay down," he said instead to change the topic. Mahr left him then, which was rare enough, but Gavin instead paid attention to the matter in front of him. He gladly took any moment without the demon breathing down his neck but right now he actually didn't mind as much. He didn't want to do this alone. "It will start soon, and I think it will be a pretty one."

"What will?"

"The end of this world, I told you."

So they laid down on the hard stone, side by side and it reminded Gavin of nights on the roof. Above them was the night sky, brilliant and breathtaking.

Other worlds and stories and souls. They started to fall away then, slower then a shooting star, but just as pretty.

Granted, the worlds weren't falling. It was them that were sinking into darkness, but there always was a way to visualize it. As if the story wanted to give the remaining ones something prettier to look at than eternal darkness.

This sure was prettier. He watched attentively as the stars rained down on them and he also didn't mind when Geoff reached over and took his hand. That was fine and he squeezed back.

When Regulus had touched him before, he had felt something, Gavin had seen it in his eyes, but Geoff didn't seem to. He was watching the sky and so Gavin did as well.

Was that what it would look like when he ended the last stars? Just a rain of them until all that was left was nothing?

Darkness above and darkness beneath and he in the middle, trapped with no one but Mahr.

The image scared him, and he quickly shook it off. That was in the future and to even get there, he had to pull through with this right here.

"I need to ask a favor from you, Geoff," he said when barely any star was left above. "That's why I brought you here."

And Geoff, wonderful Geoff didn't even hesitate, "What do you need me to do?"

That was a good question. What exactly did he want Geoff to do back in his memory? To... kill him? Make sure he would die?

Mahr wasn't with him to tell him or help him along but he still knew.

"For a story with a thousand endings, it needs one fixed point."

"The beginning."

Gavin nodded. "And I need help steadying it." He reached his hand out for Geoff to take. "Will you?"

Geoff laughed at that and Gavin felt his heart open up. So similar, this unknown friend in front of him.

When was the last time he and his Geoff had sat on the roof, looking at the stars like this? Geoff would've told him stories, the endless ones that seemed to spill from his lips and they would've laughed. It felt like a distant dream now but this right here? This here was close enough and he eased up a little.

Geoff took his hand and Gavin pulled him up and back into his past. It wasn't hard to do as if it was meant to happen.

The white forest was a cruel contrast against the peaceful end of the world they had just witnessed. The hut fitted right into the picture and this time there was smoke curling out of the chimney.

"What is this place?" Geoff asked him. He looked surprisingly unfazed by the shift around them, but Gavin didn't quite dare to look him in the eyes. Being back here made him homesick; he missed the castle and the miles of corridors to run through, the windows letting sunlight in on green carpet, and as a child he had tried to jump from one sunlight field to another, to not step into the darkness in between. Oh, but his legs had been too short.

"The place I grew up in," he said. Not home. This wasn't home and never had been.

He tugged Geoff along, down the snowy slope until they reached the hut. This time it wasn't distorted and he had no problem pushing the door open.

Inside it was quiet like a grave, no shadow sitting at the table and no twins waiting for him to come inside and play. There was only the fire, giving him a false sense of warmth.

Walking into the small hallway the door to the twins’ room was closed and he didn't want to check on them. No, he wanted to get this over with, and so he opened his own door.

The room was as sad as he remembered and behind him he could hear Geoff take a shaking breath. In the bed laid a little boy. A sick boy with pale skin and two ruddy spots on his cheeks, who lifted his little head now. Blinking blearily at Geoff and Geoff only.

"Come with me, Gavvy."

Those words out of Geoff's mouth made Gavin close his eyes. He didn't want to see or hear what would happen next, but then Geoff's hand slipped from his. He made a step towards the boy to pick him up but that wasn't how it had happened, right?

So Gavin gently touched his shoulder to stop him and when Geoff turned to him, the fear in his eyes was too real. Gavin wanted to tell him that he was sorry, that it had to be done and he wished it went differently as well, but nothing came out of his mouth.

No, just like Geoff he was pulled by strings to play his part in this memory. The silent one, unseen and uncaring.

So the little boy got up on his own and followed along, swaying on unsure legs as Gavin lead the way. The thin nightcloth the boy was wearing would do nothing to help against the cold, but it was never meant to in the first place.

"Where are we going?" Geoff asked at the same time as the little boy and it was also Geoff who answered.

"The lake. You like the lake, don't you?"

Gavin steeled himself as he lead them up the soft slope of the forest, but he could feel the horror coming from Geoff in waves. This was  _ wrong  _ and he wanted to break out, to just run away again. Hide back underneath his bed.

Mahr returned to him then, a comforting weight on his shoulders, assuring him that this was right. How could it be? Could this really be the answer? But they were just playing their roles in a story that was already written.

It didn't make a noise when the boy fell down, too worn down by sickness, and Gavin nearly felt the cold snow on his own body again. How his father had loomed above him, waiting for him to pick himself back up.

Not this time. This time Geoff hurried the few steps separating them and scooped the boy up like nothing could keep him from that.

He stared at Gavin, something not quite hateful in his gaze but close to it. Geoff wanted to hate something for this, to blame anything but knew that it wasn't Gavin's fault. He was just furious that things like that happened and he was too weak to stop it.

But right here and now he had broken out of the role meant for him. He was holding the boy close to his heart, sharing his warmth and brushing hair out of his face.

Gavin just stood there and watched. With the snow hanging between them and each breath visible, he hadn't expected a sign of warmth. Back then he had left any warmth back in the hut, but that had been his father.

His father who had wanted him dead, so he had died. It hadn't been Geoff, who was burying his face against blonde hair now, tears in his eyes. No, Geoff would've never let that happen. Not with how much he loved.

What was he even doing here? What was he doing to Geoff right now? This wasn't his battle to fight, this had nothing to do with him and still Gavin had dragged him here. Away from everything he knew and forcing him to do something that was so against his nature? Something that his spirit resented enough to break out of their paths and fight against it.

Right now Geoff even turned away, not able to look at him and Gavin just stood there, unable to say a thing. No, he was the one just standing there, watching from the shadows. Was he any better than Mahr in that moment?

No, he had set a plan in motion and now he was seeing it through, no matter the cost. No matter if those involved were alright with it, and oh, what a joke that was. How he had hated Mahr for doing the same thing, and now look at him.

Snow on his shoulders as he tried to feel nothing.

_ It needs to be done _ _,_ Mahr whispered to him, but Gavin didn't want to listen. No, he had done something unforgivable and still... still he didn't move to change it.

In the silence around he heard the hum of the lullaby and pressed his lips together. It was Geoff, singing it to the boy to try and comfort him as he got up. Brushing snow from the child, he marched on and Gavin continued to lead the way.

The lake appeared to their left, a wound in the middle of all those trees and beautiful in its stillness. The water wasn't moving, not crashing against the shore like it often did in his false memory. There was a thin layer of ice, not thick enough to carry anyone and beneath was a gaping darkness.

Looking down at it now, it reminded him of his In Between and yeah, maybe that was well fitting. With the snow constantly falling and sinking beneath the surface it was a beginning and an end at the same time.

The tree wasn't anything special but Gavin recognized it as well. He stopped in his tracks but Geoff went on, knowing exactly where to go. The boy peeked over his shoulders and looked straight at him. His face was ruddy from the fever and his eyes were glassy, but the boy saw something. Him?

On the whole way through the woods the boy hadn't said a word but now as Geoff sat him down at his grave, he looked up.

"Where's mommy?"

Where was his mother? She hadn't appeared to him in the hut, not even as a shadow or a distant scent. On the other hand she had always been there, right? He had carried her in his lullaby.

"She'll be here soon," Geoff answered, and even from here Gavin saw how the lie pained him. He got back up, his role nearly over, but that was the worst. The motion sent panic through the little boy and his gaze cleared enough to look scared.

"Where are you going?"

"I'll get Mommy and the twins, didn't I just tell you that?"

"Can I come with you?"

Geoff hesitated as if the words were stuck in his throat and he wanted to swallow them down. Replace them with something kinder.

"You stay here."

"Please don't leave me alone," the boy whispered, and Gavin couldn't take it anymore.

"This isn't right," he protested, but nobody heard him, Geoff too caught in his act and Mahr showing no reaction.

"Be a good boy. You can watch the lake. You like to do that, right?" A question because his own father hadn't known that. Did Gavin even like the lake back then? He didn't remember.

The boy however nodded so maybe he had. It didn't matter even if this was his father's form of mercy. To at least give him something pretty to look at.

"When will you be back?"

"Soon."

"Do you promise?"

"I do. Now be good." A promise that this Geoff wouldn't keep, but another one could. Once everything was over and the snow had taken the boy and after hell, yeah... there would be a Geoff waiting for him. A Geoff that would wake him underneath a tree and take him home. A Jack that would sing him the lullaby when the nights were too dark and long and of course his two siblings. Without pigtails this time and a lot more rowdy, but that had never mattered.

He would meet even more people, people that he would never have met here. Ryan and Jeremy and others, he had seen them in his stories.

He would live in a castle, hated by many but loved by few, and that was more important. That was more than he would ever see if he'd stayed in the hut.

Somehow... somehow that gave Gavin some form of peace. He'd love to dwell on it, to figure out what it all meant, but then Geoff was coming towards him, abandoning the child beneath the tree, and it ripped the heart right out of his chest.

"Why?" he asked Gavin before breaking down in tears. "Why did you make me do this?"

He fell to his knees in front of Gavin, something that a lot of people had done so before but never had he felt like such a monster for it, like such an unspeakable evil.

Not paying any mind to how cold the snow felt, he dropped down next to Geoff and wrapped his arms around him. As if Geoff would even want to be touched by him of all people right now! But he couldn't help himself, he never wanted to see Geoff like this, neither of them. Geoff deserved so much more, so much better for loving the way he did, for keeping the good in his heart. It wasn't fair.

"He needs to make the wish," Gavin told him. A useless try to explain what he couldn't, to justify the cruelty that couldn't be excused. " _ I _ need to make the wish. I'm sorry!"

Geoff looked up to him, a hand grasping his arm tightly, and Gavin wanted the other to hurt him. He had every right to.

"I want to go home," Geoff just begged instead. "I don't... Please just let me go! I never... never wanted this to happen!"

"I know." Gavin squeezed him tightly, hoping he could somehow let him know that he didn't want this either, but that was just prolonging this torture. He had to let go, at least show him that kind of mercy.

"You can wake up now. Wake up from this dream."

His arms curled around nothing as Geoff returned to his world and Gavin let them fall. He felt dirty, stained by something evil, something worse than Mahr because it came from his own self. But what was really left of himself? The lines carved all over his soul were reminder enough of what belonged to him and what to Mahr.

_ You did good. _

"Fuck off," Gavin snapped. He was surprised by how loud he grew, how deep his feelings went, but it didn't echo. It should've with the cliffs surrounding the lake, but that showed him what he had become. A lost voice, unheard by the world. Not really there anymore.

He had become darkness.

Kneeling here alone in the snow he was more aware of that than ever and it weighed heavily on his soul. Granted of course, he wasn't alone. The boy was still there, leaning heavily against the tree.

He was shaking in his thin clothes but that would ease soon. Cold was unforgiving but at least not cruel once it decided to take.

The boy was looking at him though and Gavin held his gaze. Did he see him? Did that even matter?

He could stand up, not to save the boy because deep inside he knew how wrong that would be, but to at least share his warmth. To lend him his coat if nothing else.

Mahr didn't let him. They were pushing him down, locking his muscles so that it was even hard to breathe.

"Don't-" Gavin warned them, but Mahr didn't listen.

_ Let's go back. We're done here. _

"No."

Mahr was pulling at him, but Gavin buried his hands in the snow. He had to feel the cold, to ground himself in that reality. Right now he was too sick and tired to be Mahr's puppet and he gritted his teeth against the pull.

_ Don't be unreasonable, dead bo- _

"Don't call me that! Least of all here!"

_ What are y- _

"My name is Gavin Ramsey! I deserve this much respect at least! I was a King once!" He screamed the words loud enough to disturb the world around him. The words didn't belong in this memory but he didn't care. He didn't care if the boy heard it and took it to his early grave and he didn't care that it made the snow stop falling for a second. Who cared! He would stop time, he would disrupt this whole memory and tear it apart!

As long as it hurt Mahr all was fine, and it did, he could feel the demon recoil and that was all that was needed. In his heart he kept his crown, not for what it symbolized but because Jack had forged it. Jack who had sat it on top of his hair and helped him keep his head up. Jack who had crowned him before that, even if it was in the form of a silver bracelet.

Oh, and Mahr could fight against it all they wanted, but love was their weakness and Jack's love had been the purest of them all. Yeah, Jack would've been able to beat Mahr, he was sure of it.

"I am not you. I am Gavin, both Jack and Geoff's son. You are nothing, Mahr!" The demon tried to reach him again and Gavin buried his hands in the snow. It burned his skin but he had learned to live with the cold. He could survive it now, he had learned to and in his heart was Jack, holding him so close and keeping him hidden away from all those evil eyes.

_ "You were raised a Ramsey, you were raised for this, and I truly believe that you were born for greatness." _

Back then, those worlds had meant the world to him.

"You are just a shadow, a monster underneath the bed! I am your host and you have to answer to  _ me! _ And I demand that you leave me alone, Nachtalb!"

Mahr disappeared. The steady weight between Gavin's shoulders was lifted and he couldn't help but laugh. He laughed from the bottom of his heart until his body shook and the snow started to fall again. Curling into himself, he pressed his forehead against his hands to catch his breath. 

The snow felt cold against his skin, but he didn't care. He didn't give a fuck, because that had been a victory no matter how small it may be and it felt exilerating.

Mahr would return, sure, whatever. That wasn't important, Gavin was over that part, had to be. They were connected, but he wasn't Mahr, he was Gavin. Maybe Mahr wanted him to forget that, wanted to make him forget where he came from, but Gavin wouldn't let them.

He could nearly feel Jack's hand on his back, a clear sign how proud he was, and that broke him. With everything else that had happened, the dirty feeling clinging to himself and this place here, a sob ripped from his throat. It wasn't as loud as his words before and that was good and he let himself have this. To mourn a little without really knowing what he was mourning for.

All the worlds he had ended? The family he had gained but lost again? The boy beneath the tree just a few yards away? Himself?

Maybe all of that, maybe something else. It wasn't important because the tears streaming down his face felt good; crying without Mahr watching over his back and feeding off of it was cathartic, and they were warm. The tears were nearly scalding, so he had at least that much warmth left inside of him.

Knowing that was also good, and he wanted to feel, to indulge in this feeling because it was human. He had been human and he had made mistakes and had learned and had loved. He had been alive and that was something that Mahr couldn't take from him.

This humanity, this last warmth he kept locked away where the demon couldn't reach it.

Memories of his heart, and oh, how funny that was. In all the memories he had lost and sold and wished away, they were all still there, right?

The feeling or color or scent that was him.

The feeling or color or scent that was his family.

Jack's hand on his back, all his loving words. Mahr was nothing against that. 

He didn't know how long he kneeled in the snow. Long enough for the cold to seep into his bones, but he didn't care. If he had to accept the cold, if it was now a part of him he would. That didn't change who he was.

The snow settled on him like back then, but it wouldn't take him. Not when it had something easier to drag under into the red, red world that waited. So Gavin didn't mind it on his shoulders and his hair because it meant no harm.

A shadow fell on top of him and he closed his eyes. He had hoped that Mahr would leave him alone for a while longer but those few moments had been precious enough. Sitting up, he waited for the demon to curl around his shoulders, but it didn't happen.

Only then he looked up and noticed the cloak pulled over him to shield him from the snow.

"Geoff."

His Geoff with the thick green cloak that was always so warm, standing by his side and Gavin had to laugh.

"You okay, buddy?"

"I think so."

Geoff sat down beside him and let his cloak cover both of them. He brushed snow out of Gavin's hair, and with a smile Gavin leaned into the touch.

"You feel warm."

Geoff just hummed, an arm wrapped around him, and like this it was fine. Everything was fine even in a place like this because Geoff would let nothing bad happen to him. Yeah, right here he was safe.

"What are you doing here?" Gavin asked after a while where he had just watched the snow fall. It was pretty when he didn't have to be afraid of it, when he didn't have to feel the cold.

"Mahr said they couldn't reach you anymore," Geoff told him. "So they came back to send me. They were worried about you."

"Worried," Gavin huffed. "I told them to fuck off. They weren't worried, they were probably pissed."

"No, they were worried for you." Geoff leaned his head against Gavin's. His beard was scratching his forehead. "Gavin, I think you need to realize that Mahr has grown fond of us, especially of you."

He didn't know what to say to that. He wasn't even sure if Mahr was capable of it but to some degree he nearly got it.

If he thought back to the beginning with how distant Mahr had been, it was a stark contrast to this. Sure, Gavin had also tried to not be as angry anymore, what use would that be? To hate Mahr each second they were connected, to fight each step on this long, long way would only tire him out.

Yeah, maybe Mahr had also tried in their very own way. They did let Gavin make more choices of his own, granted wishes that meant a lot to him even if they weren't necessary.

"Was this were you grew up?" Geoff asked, and Gavin looked up.

Geoff wasn't looking at him or the lake, his eyes were locked with the boy sitting beneath the tree. Was he even still alive? Yeah, when Gavin looked closer he could see his chest rising and falling.

That was maybe the worst part, and he understood that Geoff wasn't just embracing him but also holding tight to not stand up.

"Yeah," Gavin breathed.

"You didn't belong here," Geoff told him. "You were always meant for the halls of the castle and the endless gardens, not this forest. You would’ve never been happy here without friends and endless books. Without your wished family."

"I know."

"And still-" Geoff sighed against his hair before letting go. Gavin watched as he got up and was already missing his warmth as Geoff made his way towards the tree.

"Stop."

"I can't just sit by."

"You have to, Geoff. It'll do more harm than good."

Geoff stopped halfway to the tree and Gavin quickly caught up to him. Taking his hand in his, he held on tight. "You'll find him soon enough. When he wakes up by the portal you'll soon be there and take him home. He's searching for his home, it's his greatest wish, and it'll come true. Don't take that from him."

That was easier said than done. He could feel how tense Geoff was next to him, how everything in him wanted to move, to pick that boy up and keep him warm and safe and Gavin loved him for it.

Gently, he turned Geoff's head so that he had to look away from the tree and look at him.

"I don't regret it, Geoff. I don't regret dying here because it meant that I was found. I got to finally go home to my family, to you and Jack. I don't regret it."

And he meant it, he really did, and it made a laugh bubble from his chest. It was the same feeling as before when he had rejected Mahr for once, when he had shown that he was so much stronger than he had believed.

It was the feeling of freedom, and he had thought he had lost it all, but it was still there.It was somewhere in him if he dared to dig deep enough.

"I'm fine. I'm over it. I was so scared when I was sitting here and when I woke up all alone at the portal. I was lost, yeah, but then I was found. That means more than my death ever could!"

Geoff was watching him, just him, not the boy beneath the tree and Gavin was glad for that. When Geoff let out a heavy sigh, he had to laugh again.

"I don't regret finding you either. I never did, no matter how hard things got. I always felt horrible for being glad that you came to us, no matter what you had to go through." And because he was Geoff, his voice was heavy with tears and he was a step away from properly crying. There was strength in that and it made him so different from the man who had been his father in the hut.

Gavin pulled him in and they embraced each other as the snow was falling down. In this forsaken place that had haunted his dreams for so long, Gavin found that he wasn't scared anymore. That there was a certain beauty in the snow and the trees.

There was a movement in the corner of his eye, and they both looked up.

Someone was tramping through the woods and Gavin couldn't help but chuckle when he spotted Jeremy. The poor boy had a hard time with his too big mantle and Gavin smiled. In a few moments Jeremy would find him, too late to save him, but that was fine. He really was over it.

Turning back to Geoff, he squeezed his hand to get his attention.

"Let's go back. It's time to leave this behind.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gemini Dream? Check!


	3. Reverie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brightest star of Gemini, Pollux; the Divine. As my host I may grant you any wish that you desire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the belated update but the servers were down yesterday!

Chapter 3

Reverie

The world in front of him had taken care of itself. By the time Gavin had come here, it had already been void of life and all he had found was sour earth and cracked stones. Even the huge constructions left behind by the culture here was barely more than rubble, and now it was just waiting to be devoured by Mahr.

It was quiet here, not even wind was blowing anymore, and Gavin was pretty sure that even the atmosphere had become toxic, otherwise he would've found at least some resilient weeds in the cracks or something.

No, this was a void place. Nearly peaceful.

_ No danger that this world will twist with another one, _ Mahr told him. 

After coming back from his memory, the demon had been quieter, nearly awkwardly so. He reminded him strangely of Ray and the few times Gavin and him had fought. The day after maybe, when they were both sorry and not actually mad at each other anymore, but didn’t know how to tell the other.

There was no Michael this time to slap the back of their heads, so Gavin just hummed in agreement.

_ If left alone for long enough, every story will find its end eventually. _

"That's the reason why we only concentrate on those that are close together. If they don't tangle with each other, they are no danger to us."

In the grand scheme of things there weren't too many he had to attend to. Once they were - he could let them play out. Much like how this one had.

Right now he was sitting on the edge of a crater. There were a few of those in this world, the last sign of its culture. This one was the deepest he had found though, deep enough that he couldn't even see the bottom. It just ended in shadows, and a childish part of him wanted to drop a stone down there, listen to how long it would take until it hit the ground. There weren't any stones around though, the earth was burned and turned into ashes if he touched it, and the boulder he was sitting on was crystallized. The explosion that happened here must have been unspeakably hot, striking everything living out of existence.

"Could there be a good end to a world?" he wondered and kicked his legs. They were hanging above the black abyss and the view made him a little dizzy but he also couldn't look away.

_ Every story ends with death and that's the same for the world. Death is the end but if that's good or bad is up to you. _

"Castor's story didn't end with his death."

_ Even Pollux and Castor will stop glowing in the night eventually. _

"That's a very grim outlook you have there, Mahr."

_ It's The Truth. But that doesn't mean it's the important part. The end is the end, that's all there is to it. After everything that happened in this world, this end of it is only a small fraction. _

The demon settled down next to him like an old friend and together they watched the end of this world beneath them.

"Geoff said you were fond of me."

Mahr's reaction was immediate, a feeling of static that went through Gavin's spine and down to his toes.

"I guess that would be inevitable with how long we've been together; what with us sharing this body. A part of me is... well, I guess also fond of you, in some weird way. Geoff as well. .. He hated you, I think and-" He stopped himself, shaking his head. "I don't even know where I'm going with this. Just... if I continue to hate you it would be as if I were hating a part of myself, and I'm tired of doing that."

His kicks against the stone had finally loosened a small pebble and he watched it fall into the nothingness. There wasn't a noise for the time he waited or if there was, it was too far away for him to hear.

_ Gavin, _ Mahr began, and that made Gavin's lips twitch. Who would've thought that he'd ever hear his own name coming from Mahr.

_ I think there is something about this you've misunderstood. _

"What? That you hate me? I don't think that's the case, Mahr."

_ You always believed that me choosing you was because of your weakness, _ Mahr said instead, and Gavin fell quiet.  _ That doubt was of course very useful for me through the years, but that wasn’t why. There are so many humans who come into the Nether and don't make it out. Influential humans; Kings and Queens and Emperors. Hundreds who would sell their heart and soul to claw their way back into the land of the living. I could choose each and everyone of them, but I didn't. _

Gavin pressed his lips together. The abyss beneath his boots was endless.

_ I saw more humans go through the Nether than you could ever imagine. I let some of them pass through the Nether, I granted wishes out of fun and made deals they couldn't comprehend, but I rarely decide to take a host. _

"Why me then? Wasn't it to amuse yourself?"

_ Your soul was home to magic long ago as one of the last who carried it, and that was the reason why you didn't just burn up in the Nether without really waking as most children do.  _

_ There was something about your spirit. There was something hungry in you, something that demanded that you deserved more. That that little taste of life wasn't enough for you. _

_ Not because of riches or influences or greed, but because you weren't done. What you had lived through, no matter how painful it was, a part of you knew that it wasn't all there was. That there was more waiting for someone like you. That you deserved to know it, to experience more, and so I chose you. I chose you and I wanted to see how far you could make it. So yeah, a part of me did this to amuse myself. To see this boy become a king seemed endlessly funny to me. To see myself become a king through a simple soul... _

The shadow next to him vanished only to appear in front of him again and for the first time since sitting down here, Gavin raised his eyes.

_ I am the Nachtalb and watch through thousands of eyes in the night. I am the demon of dreams and wishes, Mahr. Why would you ever think I'd chose a weak host for myself? _

Gavin swallowed dry. Was this a test? Another game of Mahr's?

No, they were past that.

"I didn't become a King thanks solely to you."

_ I never said you did. The work you put in was your own, I just gave you the opportunity. _

Good. That was good to know.

"The way you treated me in the past wasn't right. I was and am not your pawn to move around however you like. If you choosing me as your host is such an honor, then I demand the respect I deserve."

For a moment Mahr didn't answer, then the shadow expended. It was rare that Gavin saw Mahr's true form, something that most human mind's probably wouldn't be able to fully grasp, but he didn't blink an eye while the darkness filled this world. It swallowed up the endless pit beneath him until all there was left was nothing. Gavin could still feel the boulder he was sitting on, but in this void, there was no light to see.

It didn't scare him anymore though, and he just waited as the moonlit eyes opened. Thousands, all watching each of his steps, watching each story and soul that carried dreams and wishes in their heart.

The knowledge Mahr had gathered in all of their existence, the stories they had experienced was something that could be a part of Gavin if he chose so, but for now, he just sat there calmly.

_ I apologize for any disrespect I showed you in the past, Gavin.  _ Mahr's voice echoed from everywhere, shaking the ground beneath him. _ Brightest star of Gemini, Pollux; the Divine. As my host I may grant you any wish that you desire. _

"Thank you for catching me in the Nether, Mahr. Thank you for giving me the family I wished for." Gavin's mouth twitched into a smile and he reached out his hand. "Nachtalb, demon of wishes and dreams, I forgive you."

Mahr settled back into his shadow self, this time small enough to curl into the palm of his hand. From there they traveled up to nestle back on his shoulder and Gavin didn't mind it.

Beneath, thunder growled, and when he looked back down into the abyss, a huge crack parted the crystallized stone. Now there were pebbles and stones falling down, but he still wasn't able to see the bottom.

Getting up, he made sure not to step onto the crack that now traveled further, far away into the desolated landscape until he wasn't able to see it anymore. This world was crashing into Mahr and was about to end, and when Gavin looked up into the sky, he could see how the darkness creeped up there.

This was the end of this world.

_ Regulus will call you soon, _ Mahr informed him and Gavin nodded. He had felt Michael's presence a couple of times lately, little sparks when the other thought of him. He must have decided on his wish then.

Under his boots the ground broke apart, sinking into nothing and Gavin closed his eyes.

"Let's not make him wait then."

_ "Pollux? Are you there?" _

By the time Michael finished his sentence, Gavin was already there but the other didn't notice him yet. He was standing with his back to him and Gavin took a moment to look around. They were in a futuristic looking room, a laboratory with strange machineries that looked too delicate to touch.

The portal was close by, pulsing with the same eerie power Gavin remembered, but he couldn't see it from where he was standing. It was there though, calling him to that red, red place and Mahr perked up from their place on his shoulder.

The Nether was their home. Did they miss it? Gavin had never cared to ask. It was bothersome though, the portal like a steady buzz in his ears that was hard to ignore.

Michael still hadn't noticed him, which was odd enough. He was watching himself in the mirror, touching the smooth surface and Gavin couldn't help but frown.

_ He's seeing things not meant for him. _

"Michael?" he called before the other could slip through. He wasn't sure if that was possible, but his gut told him that yes, if Michael just wanted to, he could travel in a similar way as Gavin himself.

Michael jumped when he heard his voice and turned around.

"You called me."

Michael just stared at him for a moment, eyes big as they wandered over him as if he had already forgotten that he had asked for him. Something was strange though, there was a tint of red in his eyes, and he remembered Mahr's words from just now. Michael was seeing things that weren't meant for him.

Sure enough Michael groaned and held his head a second later, his other hand on the countertop close by to hold himself up, and alarmed, Gavin took a step closer.

"Michael?"

There was a table between them and he didn't quite dare to walk around it. He was... excited to see Michael again. Michael who he considered a friend, though he knew that wasn't right. He was just projecting onto him because his soul was so very familiar, and by the Gods, he missed Michael.

"You came," Michael said and pushed himself back up.

"I promised you, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did."

Michael was still watching him, his eyes traveling over him and over his shoulder where Mahr was resting. He didn't like what he saw and Gavin's heart sank.

"I was too late," Michael blurted out then. "They had already found Ray but we got him back. He's safe now but Jeremy... I was too late!"

"I'm sorry to hear that, Michael." He had to think back to Jeremy, the one in the woods. How he had trudged through the snow with his ridiculously big mantle.

"We came here to get him out of Pandora but he went through the portal. He hasn't come out!"

Right. Gavin turned towards the portal and let the buzzing fill his head. Voices, what he heard were voices inside of there, and that was terrifying. He didn't want to dig deeper but Michael wanted him to. Michael was his friend.

_ “-ould be like flying.” _

"Jeremy is still there. He already contracted Sanaii," he explained after Mahr allowed him to look inside. To see this red, red world again. He barely carried any memories of the Nether, something that his soul had rejected completely. Or because he had not really been awake? Had Mahr caught him and brought him out right away?

"He's searching for an exit now."

Jeremy would find it. Some things were fixed in all the stories.

"We don't have time," Michael pleaded with him, and Gavin snapped out of it. The buzz of the portal faded into the back of his head again. Mahr's very own lullaby. "We only have minutes left!"

And suddenly he got it. That's why Michael had called him here, of course it was. Why had it taken him so long?

"Michael... are you considering this as your wish?"

"Would you be able to do it?" Michael asked and braced himself against the table. That was the closest they had gotten in this room. "If I'd say yes, could you do it?"

"To use your wish for someone else... Michael, you could-" But who was he kidding. Of course Michael would. The eternal protector. Regulus; the heart of the lion.

It made him smile and instead of questioning Michael's decision, he turned around to ask Mahr, "Can I influence the Nether?"

Mahr thought about it for a moment, the shadow twisting around itself as they pondered over it.

_ Sanaii will lead him out anyway, it's only a matter of time. I may allow it this time but don't make it a habit. We distorted enough, no need to pull the Nether into it as well. _

"Thank you." Turning back around, he wanted to tell Michael about their decision but Michael wasn't paying attention to him. No, Michael was staring into the shadows behind him, pale and scared and that was strange. Michael had seen Mahr the last time they had met but his reaction hadn't been that severe. Then he understood and felt anger come over him.

"Why is Michael scared of you, Mahr?" But he already knew.

"They visited you, didn't they?" he asked Michael, and sure enough the other nodded.

"They hid beneath my bed in the middle of the night like a monster for kids," Michael told him. "But they weren't able to get to me. Not with Triella at my side."

Gavin took a deep breath to try and calm down. Mahr appeared frozen in his shadow and for a moment Gavin was sure that they would disappear like they did so often, leaving him here without an answer.

_ Later, _ they said instead. _ Let me explain to you later. Regulus was seeing things that he wasn't supposed to see. _

Fine. Fine, he would give them the benefit of the doubt. For now. This wasn't the right moment or place and Michael had said that he didn't have time right now.

"It's what they do best," he murmured and pushed his anger down. Later.

"I can do it," he went on. "If you really want to use your wish like this, I will allow Jeremy to find the exit right now."

Michael hesitated. After all his eagerness before he was biting down on his lip now but Gavin understood. A wish was powerful, a wish granted by Mahr could change many things, and surely Michael had thought about his options. Maybe some more selfish, maybe as a last resort in case he didn't know any further, but it hadn't worked out like this, right?

By the sound of it they either would get Jeremy out of here right now or abandon him. Leaving him behind would mean keeping the wish, but that thought barely crossed Michael's mind. It was still a sacrifice and Michael fought with himself, hoping for a different outcome.

There wouldn't be one. While Jeremy was on the way back out of the portal, he wasn't coming in the next few minutes.

Stepping around the table, Gavin wanted to say something to him, to assure him that it was fine and maybe to see if Michael would request more wishes. That was a possibility, right? Gavin wasn't even sure what he would do then.

The question was left unanswered when he finally noticed what Michael had seen in the mirror. It was the throne room, his home, and he stopped in his tracks. He hadn't expected to see this place ever again. Sure, there were worlds and stories with this very room and he had been there, but it wasn't the same. As much as it looked the same it just wasn't, not the place he had spent so much time in, but this here was. The place he had grown up in, the throne unoccupied right now, but it had been where Geoff sat. It had been where he had sat with the court kneeling by his feet.

Home. 

"I grew up in this throne room," he whispered. "I learned where nobles ruled and played catch with the King himself right there." Yeah, the deeper he looked the more he remembered. The spots of ink on the green carpet that he had left there. Granted, of course the servants had gotten rid of them quickly, but he knew where they had been. One of them had looked like the shape of a cat and when he had told Geoff the King had just rolled his eyes.

Oh, and the throne. There were scratches on the arm rests, the cloth worn with age. Not to a degree that people would be able to notice them, but Gavin had been close enough to see them. To pick on some loose string and run his fingers over old scratches in the dark wood that made the base of the throne.

As a child he had wondered why Geoff didn't request a new one, a better one, but Jack had sat down beside him and had explained to him the value of each scratch. That it showed time and history and memories that Geoff carried in his heart.

It was the Ramsey throne, made when the horrible King Odwain had fallen by Geoffrey Ramsey. The first of the linage, the hero King. The first of that name.

The memories had been a surprise and Gavin wasn't quite prepared for them. Many were nice, with the evening light falling in from the huge windows; him and Geoff playing cards when Jack wasn't around. Others not so much, and he also recognized them.

The court filling the room, always watching him, waiting for a mistake. Their cold gaze had scared him so much as a child,

and even now he had to fight down a shiver as he thought back to that.

"Many hated me and wanted me gone," he went on slowly. "Some tried to get rid of me." Volvy and her bitter tea, and that still hurt. He had trusted her; she had been with him for so long. 

"They said I caused misfortune."

His fingers brushed against the mirror and it fractured immediately. The throne in pieces before his very eyes with all the scratches of history gone and he quickly stepped back. He had nearly destroyed it before and he didn't want to do it again, but here he was, with his poisonous touch that twisted everything.

"There weren't many I could trust, but the ones that stood by my side I hold dearly in my heart. One of them was you, or at least my version of you," he explained to Michael because that was better than thinking about the picture in front of him. "My Michael was brave and loud and obnoxious. He was talented and brusk and loved with all his heart. When we met he was the first person who knew I was a Child of Misfortune and still offered his kindness. Michael was the first friend I had ever made and one of the few who stayed with me until the very end."

It hurt. Thinking back, his chest ached, and he could see Michael on the roof, holding his hand, and Gavin hadn't been afraid back then. No, when Michael was around he could calm down. Michael would protect him from everything life would throw at him, and hadn't that been true?

"My Michael stood up for me when I didn't have a voice and my Michael kneeled before me and swore his loyalty with a kiss reserved for royalty. He held me close and faced the monster I had run away from all my life. I miss him so much that it's hardly bearable."

He turned to Michael now and saw him then. Younger of course, more shaped by relentless training, and oh, his trusted sword always on his back. Mogar, the weapon Gavin had given him. Was he still using it even after Gavin’s death? He would have to ask Geoff.

"He wanted to become the greatest warrior the kingdom had ever seen and he had worked towards that goal all his life, but when I needed him he gave up his dream to protect me instead. I'll never forget the sacrifice he made to be close to me, to make me feel safe. You making the wish for someone else... I can't say I'm surprised, you always reminded me of him."

He laughed, the memory so clear in that moment as if Mahr had brought it up.

"I'm not him," Michael told him, destroying the pretty picture he had painted for himself.

Gavin stopped in his motion and stared at the shattered throne in front of him. What was he doing here?

"I know," he whispered.

"I can let you go through the mirror though. Maybe you could see him again," Michael offered, and that was like a punch in the gut.

Gavin stared at him and for a second he wanted nothing more. To go back, to see them once more even if they couldn't see him. He could make sure they were fine. 

How much time had passed? Would they all be grown up now? Old and gray? Maybe none of them were alive anymore, just dust and mentions in history books.

No. It wouldn't be right. He had left this place behind, and who knew how he would twist this world he never had the right to return to anyway. He had died there and the dead didn't return there, not through a dream at least.

So he pushed his hand against the mirror again and walked down the entire length on it. The glass cracked beneath his fingertips, the mirror turning blind until it was useless. Until his home was gone and out of reach again.

"I'm not allowed. I can never go back, so please don't tempt me."

"I'm sorry."

Gavin nodded but couldn't quite look away. His heart was still mourning, but wasn't it funny?

"I can't dream anymore," he told Michael, "and you can't stop dreaming. That's the thing that connects us and the burden both of us carry. For us dreams have become something scary, something real and dangerous."

"And neither of us can rest," Michael added.

Yeah. If Gavin decided to rest, he always feared of dreaming, of creating new stories to hang up in the skies. And Michael? Michael could so easily slip away. He would one day, right? That seemed inevitable.

Either that or he would end together with this world here, which brought him back to the matter at hand. Mahr had assured him that he could pull Jeremy through no problem, but it wasn't that easy. He wouldn't leave Michael in the dark about the consequences.

"The Nether portal is weak," he explained. "If I pull Jeremy through, I might damage it further. Pandora installed machinery to secure the portal but it will fail, that is inevitable, no matter the choice you make. That's the risk and you should know about it."

It was because of him. Pollux had made sure that it would fail and lead to this world's end. Should he tell Michael that as well? He didn't think Michael would really get it, not when he was so preoccupied with his own problems in the moment, but at some point he would think back to his words. When the portal would start breaking and the Nether burst into this world, then Michael would remember.

Gavin wasn't sure if he could take it, to have Michael angry at him, to come face to face with what he was doing.

It would be the right thing to do, to come clean and face any wrath that would come from his own decisions but he couldn't. Standing here in this unknown world next to the blind mirror, he couldn't find the courage to open his mouth. No, he wanted to keep Michael a bit longer, to consider him his friend even if it wasn't right.

When Michael stepped up to him, Gavin couldn't look him in the eyes.

"Bring Jeremy home, Pollux. That is my wish."

But the portal, he wanted to warn Michael again, to explain it more clearly but then he could see it. That no matter what he would say, Michael had made up his mind and Gavin could either refuse him or keep his word. So he nodded.

"I wish that Jeremy would now return through this portal here," he told Mahr, and he could feel the demon sigh. No room for their little games, no Jeremy appearing at the other side of the world for their amusement. It was in Mahr's nature, sure, but Gavin had learned quite a few tricks himself.

Maybe because of that the pain was fresh and sharper than usual. The mark carved itself into his chest and he couldn't help but double over. It had surprised him; sometimes he didn't even feel it anymore.

Michael's hand was hovering above him but not quite touching. He had learned from last time.

"Can I help you? Is there some way for me to?"

It nearly made him smile this honest concern in Michael's voice.

"Thank you but there's no way back for me." He pushed himself up and rubbed his chest. "I've become darkness now."

"Because of Mahr? Geoff could exorcise them an-"

He knew that. There had been a couple of Geoffs in stories that could reject demons, and more than once Gavin had thought about that, but he and Mahr were too intertwined. They had been a part of each other for too long and Gavin knew that those hosts tended to die when they were separated from their demon.

"Your Geoff can't see me, Michael."

Michael deflated as he realized his own mistake, and that was sweet. Gavin was raising his hand to assure him it was fine, that everything was as it was supposed to be when Michael pulled his gun.

Gavin stopped in his motion as the other pointed it straight at him.

There were blue runes running down the side of it, Alastair’s work no doubt, and for a moment Gavin didn't know how to react.

He didn't like guns. He hadn't enjoyed fighting in the first place and Michael's and Ray's swords had been fascinating to him but also very scary. They had been necessary and he was very glad because those had protected him often. The first time he had seen a gun though, he had been disgusted.

With swords and bows and all those other weapons of his time, it was a battle. The one who was stronger and faster and smarter won. Knights and warriors trained every day to hone their skills and if they killed it was for the reason that they believed in.

Guns were none of that. Guns were meant to kill and did so with ease. Anyone could take a life with the crook of their finger. Disgusting.

There was no pride there, just silly words to try and excuse those inhumane actions.

"I could kill you," Michael told him.

Could he? No, Gavin didn't think so. If he was in any danger Mahr would already be there to save him, to drag him into the In Between or even attack Michael. Like this they just wrapped around him, ready to protect him if it was needed.

Michael wouldn't pull the trigger though, they all knew it. This was an offer and Gavin leaned ahead until the muzzle pressed right between his eyes.

He was ready to take his chances.

"I wish you could."

Michael blinked at him but didn't move, just how Gavin had figured he would. He smiled at him now over the glowing runes to assure him everything was alright.

Mahr was pulling at him now and with a step back he disappeared and left Michael and his world behind. For a second the light of the star was blinding, and he was a bit surprised to find that Mahr hadn't just pulled him completely into the In Between.

_ What were you thinking? _ the demon snapped at him, and Gavin didn't know.

_ We have a deal, Gavin! Do you want me to break my word? _

"No," he whispered.

_ Our souls are connected until they fade! You don't even have a body to die in anymore! _

"I know."

Michael's world floated above him, bright and white, but Gavin didn't want to go back. No, he just watched because the light helped him calm down.

"Sorry," he finally said because Mahr had been worried. Mahr who was twisting around him now and Gavin could tell that the demon was still waiting for an explanation. He wasn't sure if he could give one because it was hard to put all his thoughts into mere words. Only when he looked around and saw those stars floating around them did he start to realize.

There were still a lot, but he knew that his work was starting to pay off. Against the sheer amount that had dusted the sky in the beginning, this was nearly nothing. It had darkened the In Between where he and Geoff lived and soon they would sit in near complete darkness.

He couldn't let that happen to Geoff and he wouldn't, he had made sure of that, still-

"I'm scared," he admitted.

_ What are you scared of? Nothing can hurt you. I won't let any harm come to you. _

It was Mahr's way to calm him down, to assure him nothing would happen, but all it did was make Gavin's throat tight.

"When all of this is gone and the last story ends, what will happen to me?"

Mahr hesitated before settling close by. The demon was wrapping around him in a mock embrace but Gavin didn't try to shake him off.

_ Dead boy. Boy beneath the tree with snow and stars in your hair,  _ the demon cooed with shadows like fingers running through his hair.  _ You would make a formidable demon if I take you with me. The Nether always welcomes power and you, Gavin, are filled with it. _

"A demon," he mumbled. "Is that how demons are created?"

_ Some of us, sure. We pick those souls who are tainted enough. _

"What about you?"

_ Me? I am one of the old ones, I existed before the dawn of humanity and I'll be there long after. _

Gavin nodded. Somehow he had known that deep inside and if he was honest, the answer wasn't as bad as he had expected. Living in the Nether and existing as some form of  _ being  _ was better than the alternative of never ending darkness. Of just being swallowed up by Mahr and not existing or letting Mahr take control.

"What if I don't want to be a demon?" he asked still and could feel Mahr let go of him. The demon freed him from their embrace.

_ Your soul is weary, Gavin. It can't return to its rightful world to be reborn. There is no place for it to rest anymore. _

"I would fade."

_ Most likely. _

For a while, Gavin stayed quiet. Above him, Michael's world, glowed but the closer he looked, the more he could see that the world was beginning to dim. His influence started to show effect and the portals would soon break open. Shortly after the world would fall and sink into the darkness.

It wasn't the only world out there. Many others were in the same state, some already barely visible and starting to sink.

"Why did you appear in front of Michael?" he asked as he thought back to the room with the mirror.

_ He was watching you in his dream, _ Mahr explained willingly.  _ He was there while you were trying to steady your memory when you were talking to this other Geoff. I didn't want Regulus to interfere. _

Yeah, that would've been bad. Gavin had been preoccupied enough without Michael being there.

"Alright. Please inform me the next time when you do something like that."

_ If you wish. _

Michael's world was still hanging above Gavin and his eyes were drawn to it. He didn't think he would visit it any more, not even if Michael called. The next time might just be when his world was ending and Gavin couldn't grant him any wish regarding that. He couldn't save him.

Just like all those other worlds around. It wouldn't take long anymore and all those worlds who could twist and crash with others would fall.

"Mahr?" he asked into the darkness. "Will you keep your word?"

_ I was taught what a promise meant. I don't plan to break one. _

Good. With one last glance towards Michael's world, he turned away.

"Then let's get to work."


	4. Apollo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I hope you realize how unbearably loved you are, Gavin."

Chapter 4

Apollo

"I don't understand why I'm so upset over this."

"It's alright to be upset when people that you know pass away," Geoff told him.

They were both lying down to watch up into the starry sky, close enough to feel the other, but not actually touching. They had been at it for a while now, and Gavin knew that Geoff had his head turned towards him but he couldn't quite look at him yet. He was confused by his reaction as he again reached up to wipe at his eyes.

When he had returned earlier, he had been surprised how many stars were missing. According to Geoff, there had been a true star shower while Gavin had been gone. A bunch of the stories he had influenced had fallen one after another. That should please him and at first he had been a little glad about it, but then he had noticed a certain star missing.

It was Polaris and Aldebaran's world that had vanished without him noticing, and he should have expected that. Truly, in the end all of those stories would fade with time, and he knew that. Not only that, but Polaris' story was actually one he hadn't influenced, he hadn't even checked on it after Polaris had returned there. The story hadn't been close to any other and wouldn't have twisted with them so Gavin had ignored it. That meant it wasn't his fault, that whatever had happened in this world to bring it to an end was meant to happen.

And still he couldn't help but feel like his heart was in an iron grip as he mourned this ending. It shouldn't affect him this much, not after all the stories that had already ended, but it had been so sudden. He hadn't even thought about Polaris for a while, not even about Aldebaran, but he had known them.

They were one of the few who had walked this way along with him, the few who were able to travel from story to story. To think that they were just...  _ gone. _

He took a shaking breath.

This was stupid and he knew it. He hadn't checked on the world in so long, there was no way of knowing what had happened, how much time had passed. Polaris and Aldebaran had probably been long dead, just names in the wind by now. A side note in history books. It was highly unlikely that they had been alive for the end of their world and still-

"I barely knew them," he tried to explain to Geoff, to find reason behind his emotions.

"You did know them though, and now they're gone. It's alright to be upset about that."

"They were probably dead before. I don't know how much time has passed since they returned."

"Now you know for sure," Geoff said in the same calm voice as before. He did so since laying down as if all of this wasn't a big deal, like Gavin had any right to be sad, but it still didn't make any sense to him.

The few times he had talked to Polaris Had been important to him; alright, he could get behind that. But Aldebaran? Oh, just looking at him had always disgusted him. This crooked, twisted form of what Ray could be. No, he hated him.

And still, knowing that he was gone now had brought tears to his eyes and made his limbs so heavy that he couldn't move.

Geoff was still watching him before he sighed and turned onto his side. With his head propped up on his fist, he looked way too casual for a place like this, and something about that amused Gavin.

"It's because they remember you, Gavin," he explained to him now. "You're so upset because those two knew about you and now they're gone."

Oh.

Yeah, that made sense, and he had to press his lips together to keep from making any embarrassing noises.

He had his hands on his belly, twisting his fingers when Geoff took one of them and held on tight.

"It's not the same as forgetting you, okay? They still remembered you."

Did they? Yeah probably, and a more objective part of him knew that Geoff was right. The emotional part of him wasn't fine with it.

Being remembered was important, Jack had explained that to him, and the thought of being forgotten still scared him to the bone. He had to fight tooth and nail to keep the few people who remembered him fondly close to him and still hadn't succeeded.

The pain had the same flavor as back then. When he had walked into the throne room and Geoff had just looked past him, when Jack hadn't recognized the silver bracelet Gavin had showed him. The bows and Sirs coming from Michael and Ray.

Gods, just thinking about it could turn his stomach. Granted, it wasn't as painful as back then. Nothing could be, but it reminded him of what would happen.

When all the worlds had fallen and he was to remain right here, with no one here, but Mahr.

"Jack died before you came here, right?" Gavin asked and turned his head.

Geoff was frowning at the change of topic but nodded. He had told Gavin about the years without him before, mostly the good parts. About Michael and Ray's marriage and their little son. About Ryan and Jeremy and how they had all grown closer after Gavin had passed on.

He had always glanced over Jack’s death; just a quick note in the big story, and Gavin knew that the death wasn't important. Against everything that Jack had done in his life, against how much he had loved, what importance had the moment when it stopped?

"Were you sad when he died?" That was a stupid question to ask, but somehow he didn't think so and Geoff also didn't chide him for it. He just took his time to think about it.

"Of course I was," he said after a while. "But maybe not as much as people expected."

"What does that mean?"

"Jack was tired, Gavin," he explained. "He hated the game we had to play, to act like we didn't miss you. You know Jack, he can't play pretend. It's not in his nature, and to act like someone he loved so much didn't matter to him? He was just fed up with it."

Gavin pressed his lips together but Geoff interrupted him before he could even think about it. "Don't you dare feel guilty about it. You can't feel guilty about dying, that's not how it works, alright?"

"Okay."

"Jack was a hard worker all his life. He was a lower noble and worked his way up to become my counselor and he stayed in that position for my entire reign. Even after that he helped Ray and made sure he was on the right path, but after all of that was said and done..."

"He died," Gavin muttered. It was a sad thought and didn't really help against the pressure in his chest. He hadn't thought much about it because it was painful and he was scared to dig too deep. When Geoff had told him about it he had tried to see it realistically. Time had passed after his death and people died when years passed. If he pried too much though, he might just find out that Geoff despised him for it.

If Jack had died because of him, then how could Geoff just forgive him for it?

"Jack made sure that the kingdom he worked so hard for was in capable hands before he went to search for you," Geoff said instead.

"For me?"

"We all did in our own way. I told you I went to Yevetal for my research, right?"

Gavin nodded. Yevetal, a name that Gavin must have brushed over during his lectures but never really checked up on. An old monastery that kept the knowledge of old times, of demons and magic and history.

"I figured that if I understood Mahr I could find you again. I guess for once I was right in the end."

"How did Jack search for me then?"

"Jack's mother was a very religious woman. You never met her, right? No, I don't think you would've. She died shortly before you appeared or right after. I can't quite remember anymore."

Gavin sat up. "What? Jack never said anything."

"Of course not. You had enough on your mind already. Why would he bother a child with such sad news?"

Still- Still, shouldn't he have known? He had been so close to Jack during his first years at the castle, Jack whose room had just been down the hallway, and how often had he run down there in the night because he had grown scared? Jack who had brought him to bed, read him stories, learned his lullaby. Was that all while mourning?

"Gavin," Geoff interrupted his thoughts, squeezing his hand. "It's fine. Jack mourned her, but you being there? I think that helped him more than anyone else ever could've. With you around, he had a new purpose, something to put all his attention towards."

Gavin opened his mouth but didn't know what to say. What Geoff said was right, he knew that, but there was this treacherous voice in the back of his head. What if Jack's mother had died after he had come to the castle? Surely people had picked up on it, had pulled Jack aside to whisper poisoned words towards him.

_ 'Look what this child does. What he takes from you. It's a Child of Misfortune, he needs to be gone.' _

And still, Jack had stayed with him each night and had sat by his bed.

Geoff squeezed his hand again.

"What I was actually trying to say; Jack was raised to believe in our Gods and the afterlife. He was sure that you were waiting there and that you were happy. According to him, the Nether couldn't be the end of it all, that this time you passed on."

"The Nether isn't the end," Gavin mumbled. Mahr had whispered to him before that most people passed on. He was special; he had been handpicked.

Geoff smiled at that and also sat up now.

"Jack missed you, just like we all missed you, Gavin. So he made sure that everything he loved and worked towards was alright and in good hands before he went looking for you."

"He died because of me," Gavin whispered and just saying that felt like it could tear his heart apart.

"He went looking for you," Geoff insisted. "He missed you and so he went and searched for you. As I said, he was sick and tired of how things had been in the castle."

"But... But I wasn't there. Jack went into his... his afterlife and I wasn't there, so-"

"Gavin." Geoff squeezed his hand again to grab his attention and for the first time Gavin realized that he had curled into himself and was talking to his knees. It took all of his strength to look Geoff in the eyes.

"Jack and I talked a lot, you know we always have," Geoff said. "About the kingdom and the future of it, of Ray and Michael as my heirs and how Ryan and Jeremy could help them. We talked about you as well because we knew you'd have to be out there somewhere. You came back from the dead once, you really think we were ready to just give up on you?"

Gavin felt his lips twitch into a smile.

"Jack knew that you might not be in the afterlife when he got there, but he believed that at least I could find a way to find you then. All we wanted was for you not to be alone, to let you know that we do remember."

Geoff tugged him into his side and Gavin quickly buried his face against his neck. A hand in between his shoulder and Geoff's breath ruffling his hair.

"I hope you realize how unbearably loved you are, Gavin."

_ Enough. _

Gavin froze where he stood at the words of Mahr. His hand was still outstretched, hovering over the shoulder of the man in front of him. The man who would make a fatal call in a few years, leading to a war that would wipe this world clear.

"Did I make a mistake?" he asked. That was the first time that Mahr had actually stopped him from influencing a world. Well, actually the demon was too late because Gavin had already done so, which was all the more confusing.

_ No, this man will lead to the destruction of this story. _

"Then what's the problem?"

For a long moment, Mahr didn't answer and Gavin couldn't help but frown. Letting his arm drop by his side, he turned around to face his shadow, knowing that Mahr was currently residing there. Which now that he was thinking about it, was strange in itself.

Mahr seemed comfortable enough on his shoulders nowadays but Gavin hadn't thought much of it.

_ It's enough _ _,_ Mahr finally said and Gavin felt the tingle of something in the back of his head. His heart started to beat faster, but he had to know.

"What does that mean?"

And then, when the demon didn't answer, Gavin took a useless step closer. "Mahr!"

_ I'm willing to count this as the last world, _ Mahr replied.  _ Your part of the promise is fulfilled. _

Gavin could feel how his heart skipped a beat. If his part of the promise was done, he could free Geoff. Geoff wouldn't be trapped alongside him anymore but-

"This world isn't dead though," he said. "You said that you would keep your part of the promise when I ended all the stories that are able to entwine and crash. There are still some out there that haven't ended."

_ You doomed them all though. Their end is now inevitable, I am willing to count that. _

"Why?"

Mahr fell silent again as if that wasn't a fitting question, as if Gavin should expect Mahr to be so courteous. He didn't.

_ Just take it. _

"Am I supposed to just believe that you did it out of the kindness of your heart?" Gavin spat. "I don't think you even have one. What are you planning?"

_ Nothing.  _ Mahr appeared out of his shadow to face him. This time they even took a humanoid form as if to assure Gavin.  _ Take it or leave it. _

"Why would you do that?"

The shadow flickered and Gavin felt static in the back of his head like each time Mahr was confused. So he reached out his hand.

"Being honest is a part of respect. We should be past the point of lie-"

_ Jack is waiting in the afterlife. _

This time it was Gavin who fell silent, even though there were more than enough questions in his head. 'What do you care?' would be a great start for once, but his throat was squeezed shut by hurt. Just imagining Jack still waiting out there, alone?

No, there had to be Jack's parents and by this point, the others had surely joined him, and oh, that was a whole new flavor of hurt. But that wasn't what Jack had waited for, right?

Gods, Gavin could barely breathe at the thought alone.

_ When we allow King Ramsey to pass on, he will join Jack. _

He wanted that. He wanted nothing more in the world. Geoff could tell Jack that he was alright, that he was still out there in some form. Jack wouldn't have to search or wait for him anymore.

Still- Gavin shook his head to clear it.

"Why would you care about Jack?" he asked. "Or is it because of Geoff? If you're doing it for him then you should know that he doesn’t want this. He will be angry." And sad and disappointed. Gavin didn't like to dwell on that though, because it had to be done. Because it was the right thing.

There was no reason for Geoff to stay imprisoned here with him.

_ When you were poisoned Jack was there, _ Mahr answered, but Gavin could already tell that the other wasn't telling him the truth.  _ If he wouldn't have helped you, you would've died. The poison was strong and I am not talented with healing. I don't think I could've saved our body and this whole game would've bee- _

"That's not the reason," Gavin shot him down and the shadow faltered again. Gavin grasped their arm before they could disappear.

_What if I'm doing it for you? _ Mahr asked.

"Are you?"

_ It's what you want, isn't it? That's why we made this promise.  _ Mahr reached for him now, a shadowy hand wrapping around Gavin's arm _ . I also have no use for Geoff and I do believe we can work on the last stories without any distractions. _

That sounded more like them, and still Gavin was sure it wasn't the real reason. It was close enough though, and maybe, just maybe Mahr didn't understand their own thoughts right now. This was new to the demon and Geoff was right, Mahr had grown fond of them.

Gavin could nearly bet that this was a first for the demon.

What was more important; he didn't feel any ill will coming from Mahr. There was something in the back of his mind that belonged to the demon and he couldn't be sure exactly, but the closest emotion he could think of was uncertainty.

Yeah, Mahr wasn't sure of themself, so Gavin let go of their arm to let his hand slip into the shadowy one.

That was strange, he had touched Mahr before and was familiar with their cold weight, but right now they didn't feel like anything really. That was how it must be to touch smoke, he could see it, but without vision it was as if there weren't any long claws slotting in between his fingers, like he was holding on to nothing.

"I'll gladly take your offer then."

Stepping into his In Between, the water rippled towards the horizon beneath each of his steps. It could be mesmerizing to look at but right now he didn‘t pay it any mind.

Standing here he could see Geoff turning towards him and Gavin felt how his throat went tight. To imagine Geoff just trapped here, in their own little corner of the universe- he never complained, never said a thing about it, but Gavin knew how jarring it had to be here. To wait here all alone while Gavin was out there and oh, Geoff was always worrying. How much could a soul take? If all that was left was this darkness and the worry and Mahr.

Gavin had his own taste of it but at least he had a purpose, a goal he was working towards. Geoff just had him and this endless In Between.

After everything that he had done for him and so many others in his kingdom, it just wasn‘t fair.

Geoff deserved better.

"Gavin?" A hand on his arm, shaking him softly. The only point of warmth that was left for him and-

And if he was honest, he didn‘t want Geoff to go. He knew that this had to be hell for him, this idleness just wouldn‘t fit him. No, Geoff had been born to lead and sit upon a throne, not for this here. He knew that. He knew that and so much more and still his heart yearned for Geoff to stay.

He had been so happy to know that Geoff had come for him, had traded everything he had for a chance to see Gavin again, and Geoff had woken him up. Without him, Gavin would‘ve been devoured by Mahr long ago and all those stories would have come crashing down, ripping his soul apart until there was nothing left. Not even a glimpse in the dark, a far away star in lonely nights.

There were so many things he had to thank Geoff for, and still he wasn‘t ready to give him freedom. No matter how right it was, how much Geoff deserved this afterlife that was waiting for him, how much he deserved Jack, Gavin still stood there, hesitating.

Truth was, he was scared. With Geoff gone he would be alone. Just him and Mahr and maybe Regulus somewhere out there. Oh, but Regulus was doomed already like so many other worlds that would soon start to fall. They would take their light along with them and Gavin would be left here sitting while the darkness came for him.

Until Mahr would take him with them into the Nether and allow him to be a demon or whatever the demon had in mind for him. He was still at their mercy for that and that would never change.

A second hand, now on his shoulder, and that snapped him out of it. He realized he was just standing there, watching their reflection in the glass surface beneath him and hadn’t said a word.

Now as he looked up Geoff had the same worried expression on his face that Gavin hated so. Yeah, Geoff deserved better.

"Did something happen? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, sorry." He shook his head and took a deep breath. "I was a bit out of it, sorry. Didn‘t want to scare you."

Geoff‘s lips were a tight white line and Gavin knew that he didn‘t believe him. Fair enough, he felt a bit sick and probably looked the part.

"Um... something has happened though and-" He didn‘t know how to explain it to him, how to even start this. Was this... their goodbye?

The thought locked his words up and he turned around, searching for Mahr, but what was he expecting? Mahr wouldn‘t be any help in this, and so he took another shaking breath and faced Geoff.

"I doomed this world, right?"

"Right."

"And it was the last one. I mean, not in total, but the last from the ones that can twist. You knew we were focusing on these and... and apparently I doomed all of them now."

Geoff‘s eyes lit up. "When none of the stories can twist anymore, they can‘t crash here and hurt you or Mahr. When all of them are gone, there is no rush anymore. The other worlds can just take care of themselves and fade out over time."

Gavin nodded and hearing that made his head spin. How long had he worked towards this? It was hard to tell because time wasn‘t something that truly existed for him anymore, something he could grasp.

For a long time though, he felt like he had been right here for aeons. Now, when he finally reached his goal; he didn‘t know how to react to it.

He should be happy, right? Yeah, that would be logical, but he didn‘t have it in him. He felt overwhelmed. And when he looked up - Geoff also didn‘t seem happy.

No, there was something determined in the furrow of his brow and for the first time Gavin got a hunch that something was happening here that he didn‘t know about.

Geoff wasn‘t even looking at him anymore, but past his shoulder and Gavin knew that he was searching for Mahr.

"Is that right?" he asked then. "Do you consider this as done, Mahr?"

_ I do, King Ramsey. The worlds will for sure end now, there is no way past that. _

"How very nice of you." And Geoff wasn‘t buying it either, just like Gavin hadn‘t. The hand on Gavin‘s shoulder was holding him tighter but Gavin barely paid it any mind.

There was something not right and he couldn‘t quite put his finger on it. He also turned around to search for Mahr, but the demon decided not to take a form right now. They were watching though, waiting for something as well.

"What is going on?" he asked and turned back to Geoff. Mahr didn‘t seem ready to interfere with whatever it was. Was the demon waiting for him to say his goodbyes? Gods, Gavin wasn‘t sure if he was ready for that and still... still he didn‘t feel like that was it.

Geoff just pulled him in until Gavin nestled against his chest. He could hear the other‘s heartbeat going strong but couldn‘t look up to see his face anymore.

"I love you," Geoff whispered into his hair. "Don‘t you ever forget that, you hear me? Tell that to Jack as well."

Gavin felt himself grow cold as he began to understand and he wanted to protest, but nothing came out of his mouth. His hand grasped Geoff‘s cloak tighter, this warm thick material that he had always loved, but Geoff didn‘t even notice.

Geoff wasn‘t talking to him anymore.

"Demon of wishes and dreams, I offer my soul in exchange for Gavin‘s." His hand left Gavin‘s shoulder to reach out to the demon. "I am willing to become your new host in exchange for his freedom. That is my wish."

For a long moment there was nothing. Geoff didn‘t go on and Gavin felt like he couldn‘t move, his body locked into place. There was only Geoff‘s heartbeat in his ear and Gavin was weak. A part of him nearly hoped for it, that Mahr would grant this wish.

He was tired and even with Geoff around he felt lonely, starved for the others in his life. If he could return to whatever came after and meet them again, Jack and Michael and Ray-

_ I can not grant this wish, King Ramsey. _

"What?" Geoff spat and pressed Gavin closer to him. "All the requirements have been met. You yourself said that it would be possible once all the worlds able to twist are gone!"

So they had talked about it before, probably during the times Gavin had been sleeping or those worlds where Mahr had just disappeared for a while. He couldn‘t say that he was surprised about that but he had expected that Mahr would at least warn him. But oh, of course not. It would‘ve just turned to more hurt if Gavin had known about it before.

_ I‘m afraid that my host won‘t allow me to grant this wish. _

Geoff turned to stare at him now and Gavin closed his eyes. He pressed his face against Geoff‘s shoulder once more and could smell the wonderful scents the king had always sprinkled on his clothes. It should be long gone by now and maybe it was just a memory of his, but Gavin could still smell it.

Stepping back, he let go of Geoff and felt the thick cloak brushing past his fingers. Looking up, he met Geoff‘s winter blue eyes.

"You found out," Geoff told him, something furious in his voice, but oh, he wasn‘t angry. Geoff rarely was angry at him.

"I should‘ve, but I actually didn‘t. Still, I can‘t let you do this."

"That isn‘t your choice to make. Mahr!"

But he wouldn‘t be able to find Mahr. Mahr was hiding behind Gavin‘s back as if afraid of Geoff‘s wrath and Gavin could feel the distant pain coming from the demon.

When had Geoff made the offer to Mahr? How long ago had Mahr agreed to this? Was it before their promise? Gavin could bet it was.

And Mahr had probably meant it as well. To Mahr it didn‘t truly matter if it was him or Geoff as his host, only that Geoff‘s soul wasn‘t as weary and Mahr did like Geoff. Geoff and his endless stories.

"I‘m sorry, Geoff. Mahr promised me something."

"What?"

"A promise is stronger than a wish, you should know that."

Geoff reached for him but Gavin quickly took a step back. Now he could hear his own heartbeat deafening in his ears.

"Gavin, don‘t you da-"

"I love you, Geoff," he echoed Geoff‘s own words, and that was good. He hadn‘t known what to say in the first place. How could he find words for all the things Geoff had done for him? Taking him in when he had nothing, keeping him warm and safe and by his side. Geoff, who even after his death had continued to search for him.

Geoff who had found him.

Geoff who hadn‘t forgot about him.

Geoff who had made sure that Gavin knew how much he was worth.

There were no words for that, words would ridicule this feeling because they weren‘t grand enough. So this would have to do.

"I love you. Don‘t you ever forget that, you hear me? Tell that to Jack as well."

Geoff‘s hand wrapped around his arm, a hard grip that made Gavin flinch. And Geoff was properly angry now, was towering above him and ready to yell at him. Instead he fell silent when Gavin looked up, and whatever Gavin had wanted to say to defend himself also died on his tongue.

All he could do was stare up at Geoff, and the sense of déjà vu made him weak.

He saw Geoff above him after waking up by the portal when there had been nobody else.

He saw Geoff on the roof on that cold night after he wrapped the scarf around Gavin‘s neck. All to keep him warm and close to him, so that Gavin wouldn‘t get dragged away into the endless stars above him. Like Pollux and Castor.

And he saw Geoff on his deathbed, when all that was keeping his soul rooted to the world was Gavin next to him. When each breath had been a fight that Geoff was certain to lose.

_ "I don‘t want you dead." _

_ "And I don‘t want you dead either.” _

Gods, love was cruel. Gavin could feel it in his chest, tearing his heart apart as if it wasn‘t important. As if he could live without it, without Geoff and his family. His deepest wish.

But that had been as a child, he wasn‘t a child anymore. He had grown up and learned and now he understood the same way Geoff understood. That yes, he loved his little family endlessly and unconditionally, but that also meant loss. And if he could see them together, if he could reunite them so that at least they didn't have to be alone, that was fine with him.

It was fine.

Mahr was in him, burning through each mark on his soul. Mahr was in the back of his head, making waves crash against the shore in the deafening way they always did. Gavin could taste the demon in the back of his throat like so often, but Mahr kept away from his eyes.

No, Mahr let him have this at least. This last moment he and Geoff could share together, and Geoff had to know that he had lost, that he was defeated and couldn‘t change it anymore. Surely he did.

But it wasn‘t in his eyes, it wasn‘t in his heart. In that moment all he did was look at Gavin and Gavin alone.

Even as his grip faltered and turned weak, even when he started to fade he didn‘t so much as blink.

His mouth moved but Gavin couldn‘t understand him over all the noise in his head. He knew anyway.

_ “I won‘t forget.” _

_ “I‘ll find you again.” _

Then Geoff was gone, Geoff simply vanished from right in front of him and the touch on his arm was nothing more than a phantom touch.

What was left was a deafening silence as the waves in his head calmed down until only calm sea was left.

For the longest time that was it, no thoughts or regret or... anything really. Not even Mahr dared to say a thing. There was only his own breathing, sounding wrong in this place.

In this lonely, lonely In Between he was in now. Where there was nothing but the last remaining stories above him and Mahr just beneath his feet, separated by this thin glass surface.

His own little marble in the middle of an eternal night where all he could see was Castor, at least until Castor would fade and leave him here.

Gavin breath was going faster now, more rapid as he began to understand what had happened. What it meant for him.

Geoff was gone. Geoff wouldn‘t be waiting for him when he returned here, nobody would. There was no real reason to return here anyway, but on the other hand there was also no reason to leave.

The dangerous worlds were doomed and the others would end eventually in the eternity stretched in front of him.

This was the prison he had been so afraid of with no way out anymore. The light above him would fade over time and he was left with endless nothing.

At least Geoff didn‘t have to see this though, right? That was good. He didn‘t want Geoff to be trapped here with him, that would be cruel.

And still-

"Geoff!" he called and it echoed into the void. There was nobody who could answer him anymore and he took some steps, wanted to run until he found someone, another living soul. Anything.

There would be nothing there, only the ripples of the water disappearing on the horizon. A horizon that wasn‘t really there because this In Between knew no end.

"No." His breathing was now droning in his ears, deafening and horrifying at the same time. "No, this isn‘t-"

_ This is what you wanted, _ Mahr reminded him, and yes, that was true but-

"I‘m scared," he whispered. "I don‘t want to be alone."

That was the simple truth, wasn‘t it? He didn‘t want to be alone, that‘s why he had wished for a family in the first place, and for a while things had been good. Not perfect ,but he never wanted perfect, he wanted home.

Now his home was gone, his family dead and all that was left... was him.

How endlessly alone he was.

"Geoff!" he screamed the name as loud as he could. Loud enough that it hurt his throat but he had to make sure that Geoff could hear him. That wherever he was Gavin could still reach him somehow.

Because surely if Geoff could still hear him he would answer. Would fight to get back, and in his blind panic Gavin wanted that.

He wanted Geoff here, had always wanted that deep inside. He would lock his whole family here if it just meant to have them again.

Yes, that was wrong, yes, he knew all of that, but he needed them and the heart wanted what the heart wanted.

There came no answer and Gavin turned around, searching the dark horizons for something, anything. There was nothing of course, just the dim light of the remaining stars.

No living soul besides him and Mahr of course.

That was all that remained.

The sob wrung from his throat brought him to his knees. Was that really all? After all his fights and battles and how much he had tried... this was it? He would just stay here until his dream ended? Until everything he had created and built and loved was gone?

The sobs turned into a scream, loud enough to shake the stars and shatter the glass surface. Black water began to seep around his hands and knees and he didn‘t care. He really didn‘t care because nothing was important anymore. Nothing here mattered.

Everything that he had kept close to his heart was gone.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, that hurt me as well


	5. Where The Skies End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A butterfly flapping its wings can cause a hurricane, Mahr whispered to him. A jealous child can create a God.

Chapter 5

Where The Skies End

His breath condensed against the glass, a pale haze that disappeared after a few moments, just fast enough until Gavin breathed out again.

He was laying on his side, curled up and with his eyes half open. The barrier between him and Mahr was shattered and the edges dug uncomfortably into his skin. By now he didn't even register it anymore.

He hadn't moved since Geoff had disappeared, and he wasn't planning to.

The dark water was welling up between the cracks and it felt cold as ice. It burned a little wherever it touched him and left his skin in a strange dark purple color. He had seen that color before, when he had sat beneath the tree and the cold had claimed him.

It just wasn't snow this time.

Mahr's water was sticking to him and even when he tried to lift his hand, it clung to him like spiderwebs and made it so much harder to get up. Not that he had to; now all he could do was wait.

Every once in a while a star would come crashing down, bursting on the surface and sinking beneath. It was as pretty as the first time and he followed each one with his eyes.

He should sink as well, with the barrier broken he should just be devoured by the darkness, but it didn't happen. No, Mahr was keeping him up here for whatever reason.

Gavin hadn't bothered asking them about it.

It was actually funny, now that Gavin didn't try to communicate with them anymore, the demon had turned out to be quite talkative.

Had even tried to tell him stories, but the demon wasn't a good story teller. Nowadays they just demanded of him to get up as if it was that easy.

Had Geoff already met Jack? Surely he had.

Mahr had explained to him that this afterlife was a place of rest for souls in between lives. So there was a chance that Jack might have already went on, into his next life, but the demon told him that wasn't the case. That might be a lie, but this time Gavin decided to believe them. The others had all found each other, he had to keep that in mind.

Oh, how angry Geoff had to be. Jack as well? Yeah, maybe. Deep inside. Jack rarely got truly angry. Jack got disappointed, which was worse, but not right now. They would understand, Geoff most of all. After all Geoff had tried to pull the same stunt on him and oh, how funny that was. Granted, Gavin should've seen that coming.

It was over now. Everything was, and now all he could do was wait.

Wait and watch as worlds died, as all his little stories came to an end, either through his hand or because of natural causes. That was alright, it had been his goal for a long time after all. Whatever happened next, would happen soon.

There was a presence lingering behind him, spilling out from the water and he knew it was Mahr. For a while the demon just nestled there like they often did and Gavin made no move to acknowledge them. They were both just waiting here, right?

_ Stand up,  _ Mahr told him, but Gavin ignored them. There was an insistent pull on his shoulder but he shrugged it off.

_ Are you giving up? _

"Giving up?" Gavin mumbled. "I did what I was meant to do. There‘s nothing left."

_ There are still worlds out there. _

"They will fade eventually. That‘s what you said."

_ So you are just going to lie here, no matter how long it will take? _

"I deserve some rest after everything."

_ All you‘re doing is waiting until you fade. Until I take you. _

So what? What did it matter? He had fought for too long; he was tired and the sharp edges of the glass surface were digging into his side. He wasn‘t even sure why Mahr didn‘t just let him sink if it bothered them so much.

_ You‘re doing the same thing as always _ _, _Mahr told him and moved over him like a wave crashing above him. It shook Gavin a little but not enough to get a real reaction out of him.

_ You‘re giving up. Geoff left you and now you‘re just waiting for someone to catch you. Should I plant a tree behind you? By the time the last worlds are gone, it would be dead already. Wouldn‘t that be hysterical? _

Gavin pressed his lips together. He knew that Mahr was just pushing his buttons and still he couldn‘t help himself.

"Geoff didn‘t leave me. I sent him away."

_ Does that matter? You haven‘t moved from this place. Geoff could‘ve just placed you under that tree again and been done with it. _

"That‘s hardly the same."

_ Is it? _

Gavin huffed. He lifted his hand to swat Mahr away like an annoying insect, but found that the black water was still sticking to it. He managed to lift it a few inches before it fell back down.

A snowflake landed on the back of his hand and just a second later it was full out snowing. It was just Mahr making him see things, but that couldn‘t stop him from shivering. He quickly closed his eyes to block it out, but he still knew it was there.

_ Have you ever wondered if things could’ve turned out differently? You know in some realm it did, there are stories in which you didn‘t die on that day. _

"Shut up."

_ Jeremy found you too late. By the time he got to you at that lake you were already slipping away, but not every time. In another time he wasn‘t alone when he found you. It was Michael actually, the factor that changed it all. Michael was jealous of Jeremy, so he sent him to hunt alone while he was busy, but there are stories in which Michael got over that. Stories in which Michael stayed by Jeremy‘s side like he was supposed to. _

Right. Gavin had seen that in the dream Mahr had shown him eons before. The childish jealousy in Michael's heart now that he had to share Jack. The way Michael had ignored Jeremy just for the sake of hurting.

It would've changed soon enough, Gavin had seen Michael's soul enough times to know that much. Michael was the one who held out his hand to the ones smaller and weaker than him, the ones in need.

Yeah, it was easy to imagine him finally letting go of his ill will and letting Jeremy in.

_ In the times where Michael stayed by Jeremy's side, they were quicker, hunted the rabbit more efficiently. They found you just a bit faster. _

And now Gavin could feel the warm coat Michael would've thrown over him. He had seen it, it was made out of a wolf, the one Michael had hunted himself. Gray and thick, perfect for a hunter. Gavin would've nearly drowned in it.

_ Michael picked you up and kept you warm. He carried you back to Jack. _

Home. Another one for another him, but Gavin could feel the warmth of the ever growing fire. Could feel his very own coat he had hunted, a fox, and he had cried and cried when he had shot him dead. But Jack had been there. Jack with his soft voice and a hand in his hair.

And still-

"This isn't my story."

_ It is a story. It happened like this in some plane of existence. _

It was a nice picture, a warm one. The hut, certainly too small for three boys, but they hadn't cared, right? No, they had found their own family, and there were more out there. Other people they were meant to meet once the winter faded and they began to sell their coats and meet in the next city.

Another adventure, but not his.

He wasn't meant to be a hunter, he was meant to wear a crown atop his brow. That's what Geoff had said, and no matter his doubts, that was something he was sure of.

Thinking about Geoff hurt, but he didn't let it take over this time. It made tears well up in his eyes because Geoff was gone and Gavin had never been safe without Geoff around, but that was just how things were right now.

Upon opening his eyes again, there was no coat covering him and the snow had also stopped. All tricks by Mahr, and the demon was smirking now.

_ Do you resent Michael for that? For not finding you at the lake? _

That wasn't even a question.

"No. Things happened how they were supposed to happen and I told my story the best way I knew how." He pushed his hand down onto the cracked glass and felt how it cut his palm. It barely hurt and even if it did, it would be a cathartic pain as he pushed himself up.

The black water was clinging to him like tar, trying to pull him under, but he wouldn't let it.

He was stronger than that.

_A butterfly flapping its wings can cause a hurricane, _ Mahr whispered to him. _ A jealous child can create a God. _

Gavin pushed himself onto his knees and lifted his hands. The water simply flowed from his fingertips, not holding him back anymore. The sharp edges hadn't even dented his skin.

"King," he corrected Mahr. "I'm a King, not a God."

_ Then stand on your feet, King Ramsey. _

He did. The pieces of glass beneath his boots scraped against each other but they didn't break further. They held his weight and Gavin turned to face his demon.

Mahr was towering above him, a shadowy specter that didn't have a face but Gavin could read them even without. The demon was smiling.

_ I don't choose weak hosts. _

"I bet you're glad that you chose me then."

Mahr laughed at that, an honest, amused laugh that Gavin had never heard before. It made him smile as well.

_ Gavin, I assure you that out of all of my hosts, you surely are exceptional. _

The demon settled back on his shoulder like usual and Gavin faced the sky above him. It was nearly pitch black in the In Between now. The few stars still hanging on were nothing against the picture he had seen in the beginning, some of them already dying and others dimming as well.

The healthy, untouched ones were the only one still giving light and they weren't enough to face the darkness.

"Let's find the end to our story. Shall we, Mahr?"

The untouched worlds were strange. Gavin had seen a lot of dying worlds before even though he had tried not to watch and some of them had been downright terrifying. Worlds that were completely reduced to ashes or some that were perfectly fine but without a single soul anywhere.

The untouched ones had a very similar flavor.

There were people, a lot of them going about their daily lives but they weren't really there. They looked like ghosts in the mirrors, nearly completely see-through but unaware of it.

"What does that mean?" Gavin asked and nearly ran into a girl on the street. It was hard to keep track of them when they blinked in and out of existence like that, and he couldn't even truly see her face. It reminded him a little bit of the twins in his memory.

_ I am not sure, _ Mahr admitted. _ It must be because of you. _

"Because of me?"

_ I do believe so. Do you care about this world? _

Did he?

He took another look around. He was in a city of sorts, bigger than any he had seen during his time in the kingdom, but he had become accustomed to them during his journeys. It was one of many, nothing special about it, and even when he looked closer the people didn't become clearer. Would they if they were familiar? One of the dozen souls he stumbled across everywhere?

No, that wasn't the problem.

Mahr was right. He didn't care about this world, not anymore. He had seen too many worlds, too many parts of the stories that this new one was just... there. When he looked closer he could see it unfold until it would find his ending eventually, but he wasn't watching with his heart.

There had been worlds before in which he had to fight to avert his eyes because it hurt down to his very soul, but not this one. This one didn't feel as close to him anymore, as if it wasn't really his.

_ Maybe that's it,  _ Mahr offered.  _ These last worlds aren't tethered with any of the others anymore, they are all far apart and the only thing connecting them is you. Maybe you can let them go, free them. They look like they are living on their own without your influence. _

"I still created them though."

_ Even so, the stories start to breathe on their own. There comes a point for everyone where they have to let go. Would you be ready to try? _

Gavin hesitated for a moment but deep inside he already knew the answer. The thing was, it would be scary to let something go that he had created and watch it float away, but it was only scary because it was new and new things were always scary. It wouldn't hurt, at least he didn't think so.

This world had done fine without him and honestly, he wasn't even sure what he wanted here in the first place. He didn't want to destroy this place if he didn't have to. This world had no other world around that it could twist and crash into, so it wouldn't be fair. On the other hand he was also tired of waiting. This world was healthy and even if there were opportunities for destruction, that didn't mean it would happen. It could live on for centuries, and for all he knew the other worlds out there could as well.

He wasn't ready to wait for that to happen. To just sit in his In Between with no one but Mahr in the little light he had left. Sure, he could easily fall asleep, only to wake up when everything was over, but he also didn't want to do that.

He was done with all of this here, he was ready to move on. No matter where it would be, even if Mahr dragged him into the Nether. That would still be better than just waiting, just existing. He could be a good demon, he figured. A demon with powers that could help his host. Maybe all demons started like that, he was sure that Mahr had maybe done so as well, but time was cruel. Time wore everything away until only emptiness remained.

But Gavin wanted to do something before that happened, even if it was as a demon. That was still better than just endless nothing as he waited for it.

"I would be ready to try," he muttered, because it was true. If he could let those remaining worlds go and they could exist somewhere without him, that was fine by him. If they were strong enough to shine in a different sky, they needed no God or King. Both of those things only brought destruction to those beneath, and Gavin was tired of destroying everything he had built.

"Pollux?"

That was something else, the voice he kept on hearing. It was Michael, Regulus, who was calling out to him. Gavin hadn‘t answered because he knew exactly what was happening.

Michael‘s world was dying; Gavin had seen how dim the star was before. It was hanging on by a thread and a big part of him wanted to take a look. To check and see what damage the burst portals had caused, to check on Michael, to help him. Mahr was the one holding him back, and yeah, Mahr was right. If Gavin went there, Michael might just sway him for another wish. A wish he couldn't grant, not without making everything so much more complicated.

If he went to see Michael, surely the other would wish for the portals to be intact again or to ban the demons - something along those lines. He couldn‘t do that, not only because Mahr wouldn‘t grant it in the first place, but he had doomed the world for a reason. If he saved it now, it would just crash with another one.

It was nearly done, he just had to hold on and not go back on his word. No matter how much he wanted to save Michael, he couldn‘t. That didn‘t stop him from hesitating in whatever he was doing when Michael called for him like right now.

Stopping in the middle of the busy street, he let those phantom people pass through him as if he wasn‘t really there. In other worlds the people noticed him in some form and took an unconscious step around him, but this world was already too far gone from his heart.

He barely existed here.

"Pollux?"

Michael‘s words carried louder here, cutting straight through his thoughts, and it took him way too long to understand why exactly. As he walked down the street of this stray world, he found him there. He wasn‘t even easy to miss because he was solid, he was really there. 

Michael was kneeling on the sunny street and he didn‘t seem to fit there. His usual clothes would fit in this world without any problem, but he was wearing a misshapen form of cloak. It was red and big enough to cover him completely if he wanted it to, and Gavin felt a strange form of fear in the pit of his stomach.

He knew this color, it had burned itself into his mind during his time in the Nether.

_ He used it as some form of camouflage, _ Mahr informed him. _ Smart. _

No, horrifying.

Gavin slowly walked closer and Michael was barely able to follow him with his eyes. The red wasn‘t only covering his cloak, but it was in his hair and on his face. It even dusted his hands as he reached up to rub at his tired eyes.

"I didn‘t think I would find you anymore," Michael told him and got on his feet. Gavin didn‘t like how much he swayed. "But there weren‘t many more worlds out there. The last time... there were so many. They are all gone now. I think my world will follow soon enough."

Because of him. Did Michael know that? Gavin wasn‘t sure, but he didn‘t dare to come closer.

"I‘m sorry," he whispered, and that made Michael smile. It wasn‘t a nice one, it was a very exhausted smile, a tired one that barely made it to his face.

"You are ending these worlds, aren‘t you? That‘s what you do."

Gavin nodded.

"I should‘ve seen it before. After all when I followed you that first time it was as if I was following an apocalypse. Just empty shells of stories everywhere but... but I didn‘t think clearly."

Michael shook his head and that was enough to make his whole body sway. It was hard to tell with his cloak but he looked older, a few years at least, and thinner. Worn down from fighting and surviving.

"If you know this then why did you come for me?" Gavin asked, and Michael just shrugged.

"Where else was there to go? It is all gone. The portals broke open and the Nether collided with our world. Most of humanity died within the first month, the few survivors followed soon after. It got... it got very lonely."

His eyes went past Gavin now as he watched the people around them, so many that it was nearly scary and still they were barely visible. They were just faceless beings experiencing their own stories and unable to see those two dreamers in their midst.

Some who were more fine tuned took a step past Michael to not straight out walk through him, but most didn‘t so much as hesitate.

"We survived because we contracted demons. We survived because of me and Ray but..." he trailed off, frowning as if he had forgotten what he wanted to say. It wasn‘t needed, Gavin could imagine.

He took another step closer and he wanted nothing more than to comfort somehow, but what was he meant to say? In his way he had trampled across Michael‘s world and he had known that.

"Jack, as well," Michael mumbled, quietly enough that Gavin took another step closer to even understand a word he said. "Jack helped us survive as well. She got very, very creative with her enchantments."

And then the tiredness fell from Michael. It was like a switch getting flipped and when his eyes found Gavin again they were sharp and attentive.

He had seen that before, back with his Michael. How easily he could flip from fun to serious when danger was around. The déjà vu was strong enough to make him dizzy and so Gavin just stood there as Michael lifted his hand from beneath his cloak, took aim, and fired his gun.

The impact threw Gavin straight from his feet and he hit the ground with a gasp. It hurt. It hurt and he hadn‘t known physical pain since he had lost his own body, but it was there. He banged his elbow on the street and the pain shot up to his shoulder. His head hit the asphalt but he had caught himself before worse could happen.

Gasping, he opened his eyes and saw that his hands were scraped bloody. Was that even possible?

Michael was running at him, the gun still in his hand and Gavin just stared at him because he was alone in that moment.

Mahr was gone. Mahr had left him and the feeling was so unnatural that he couldn‘t even remember how to move his body without.

Then Michael reached him, a hand on his shoulder to push him down and before Gavin knew what was happening Michael was straddling him, gun pressed against his chest.

Still gasping for breath, Gavin clutched Michael‘s wrist but who was he kidding? He had never been strong, least of all against Michael and the hand didn‘t even budge.

"Stop-" was all Gavin managed to force out, but it was enough.

Atop of him Michael hesitated and looked down at him. His eyes were blood red and the cloak falling from his shoulders was enough to enclose both of them.

At least that gave Gavin a moment to try and grasp the situation. He was on his back in the middle of the busy street with pairs of shoes walking past him in the corners of his eyes.

His arm hurt and his back where he had fallen, but the bullet hadn‘t actually penetrated him. Besides his scraped hand he wasn‘t bleeding.

Mahr was still gone, but while Gavin was still trying to understand that, he could hear the demon howl. The world turned dark as Mahr returned and draped their immense figure over them. It was like night had fallen, but they still couldn‘t reach.

There was a shield separating him and the demon, and when he realized that, Gavin‘s free hand grasped Michael‘s shoulder.

"What..?"

Darkness enveloped them completely and all he could see was the glow of the runes on Michael‘s gun, the barrel still pressed against his chest, and not being able to see what Michael was doing scared him.

"One of Jack‘s enchantments," Michael told him. In the cold blue light Gavin could just see his mouth move. "She worked on it with Geoff. A way to repel demons. Not for long, just so that we could run away. It saved our lives more than enough times."

He fell quiet, pressed his lips together and Gavin could smell the Nether on him. The red dust that got stuck like sand between his teeth, the heat in that place.

All of that still didn‘t help his déjà vu feeling. Michael on the roof holding him tight but his eyes on Mahr. Michael who didn‘t let Mahr get him, who faced the demon for his sake.

And something deadly pressed right above his heart.

"I‘m sorry," Gavin whispered like back then because he truly was. "I‘m so sorry. I didn‘t want this to happen. I never did."

It grew brighter in their little shell. It was Mahr opening their moonlit eyes and now Gavin could see the cracks in Triella‘s shield. It wouldn‘t hold for that much longer, not with how Mahr was pressing against it.

"Killing me won‘t save your world."

"I know that. There‘s nothing left in there that I care about." Michael pressed the gun down. "The only one left to save is you."

Another crack wandered through the shield, loud as thunder, and Gavin squeezed Michael‘s wrist.

"I don‘t want you to kill me."

"But that‘s what you wished for."

Slowly, Gavin shook his head.

"Not anymore. I made a promise. Mahr kept their part, now I have to keep mine."

Michael frowned but the insistent pressure against his chest eased.

"I was raised a King, Michael, and a King serves their kingdom until the end. I have to do the same, I am so close to the end of my story. But this isn‘t it." He pushed the gun aside and Michael let him. He watched him out of red eyes, not understanding a word he was saying, but that was alright.

"It‘s nearly over, Michael," Gavin assured him. He reached up to place his hands on Michael‘s cheeks. "It‘s nearly time for us to rest. Soon we can without dreaming anymore."

And Michael broke down. His whole face crumbled and the red in his eyes faded as the shield around them broke.

Mahr didn‘t jump at them, just settled back on Gavin‘s shoulder and let the light back in. There wasn‘t any danger anymore.

"I fell asleep," Michael whispered. "I tried not to. I really did because we needed my shields. Without them all we could do was hide but  _ they  _ always found us.  _ They  _ always did."

There was a shudder working through his whole body and he closed his eyes.

"But I was so tired!"

"Of course you were."

"I couldn‘t wake up. I tried to! They were shaking me, calling me, but all I could do... I could only watch. Just sit there and watch until they were all gone. Until-"

He stopped himself and Gavin brushed his tears away.

"There’s nothing left for me to save. They‘re all gone!"

Gavin moved to sit up and Michael didn‘t stop him. He even allowed him to wrap his arms around him and pull him in.

"It‘s horrible what happened to you," Gavin whispered. "I wish it wasn‘t like this, but often there are men in charge that get corrupted by their power. This time it was me, but what happened to your world was inevitable. Playing with the Nether will only result in pain."

"I wanted to protect them, I really wanted to-"

"I know." Leaning his head against Michael‘s, he could feel how much the other was shaking.

Around them the people were still walking, not even glancing at them. A restless world, but at least a sign of life. After the wasteland Michael had come from it must have been a shock.

"I couldn‘t. I tried for so long but I couldn't help them."

"You were meant to protect," Gavin assured him. "But not even you can do everything. Stories have to find an end or they‘ll grow pale and lifeless. I‘m sorry that yours had to end in such a way."

Michael sobbed. He had his head buried in Gavin‘s shoulder and his hands were holding tight to his back, fingers digging like claws. Anything to hold, to feel another body again.

Maybe he needed the same. After Geoff was gone he felt like he was floating, as if he wasn‘t really there. Just an idea, a passing thought. Unseen and unheard and forgotten.

Right now though, Michael was in his arms and he felt very warm. A warmth that Gavin craved.

How long had Michael been out there, looking for him? When had he turned his back to a dying world? And what would happen when his world crashed into Mahr‘s darkness? Would he just fade?

Gavin didn‘t know but he also didn‘t dare to ask. He couldn‘t help Michael, he didn‘t think even if he could think of a wish he could save him. He couldn‘t just take one soul, unearth it and drop it into another world. It didn‘t work like that.

He also didn‘t think that Michael could cope with that. One couldn‘t go from one extreme to another, and what if he met one of the others? What if he met his own self?

No, Gavin had doomed him from the start and he should‘ve never looked back afterwards. If he could‘ve just went on, if he had never been curious about that short glance Michael had thrown him-

Oh, but what was the point in beating himself up over it?

"I‘m so tired," he told Michael. "I‘m ready for my story‘s end."

"Me too," Michael whispered. "I‘ve been tired for so long."

"Then sleep now," Gavin said, and Michael relaxed against him. He sighed softly and closed his eyes, his face still buried against Gavin‘s chest.

Turning his head, Gavin pressed a kiss against the top of his head, because his Michael had done the same to him as he had been dying. It was only fair.

"Your story is over now Regulus, my lion heart."

  
  



	6. Courage Of Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are you afraid of the dark, Gavin?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is.  
The End.

Chapter 6

Courage Of Stars

Gavin was laying on his back. Beneath him, the glass barrier had mended itself for the most part, but some edges still dug into his skin. He didn‘t pay it any mind though, because with Mahr in the back of his mind, it didn‘t hurt and didn‘t bleed. The only pain he could feel was when he balled his hand into a fist. Mahr had offered to heal his scraped skin but Gavin had refused. It would heal on its own, and until then he relished in the feeling.

It made him feel human, reminded him of Michael‘s warm weight against him, and the red dust he had left all over him before he fell asleep.

His world had crashed into the darkness soon after. Gavin had returned here and had watched it happen, his own form of paying respect.

Since then he was waiting and let world after world die. Those he had doomed were raining down in something that resembled a star shower, and no matter how pretty it was, Gavin had closed his eyes until it was over.

He should be over this by now, shouldn‘t he? That his hands had doomed all those stories and forced them to an end. It‘s what he had decided upon so long ago.

And still he rather averted his eyes than facing it.

At least it was over now. All the worlds still hanging above weren‘t influenced by him and when he had taken a closer look on them, he had found them all in a similar state, with phantom like people that were living their own lives, unaware of his existence. Those were free and he left them like that.

Now, laying on his back he could see them grow further away, drifting off like balloons.

"Where are they going?" he asked and felt Mahr move beneath him. An ocean of shadows.

_ Existing. Somewhere. _

"You think that‘s the real ending to Pollux and Castor? One of them leaving the other to survive because if they stayed... if they stayed all would end in darkness."

_ I don‘t know. King Ramsey never told us the ending, if there was one. But I do know that even stars find their end eventually. _

"Yeah, stars can get tired."

Gavin watched those distant points of light until nothing remained; just an impenetrable wall of shadows. Even when he lifted his hand, he couldn‘t make out his fingers.

That felt strange, as if he had finally lost the last semblance of a body. As if he had become like Mahr, a specter without real form. He didn‘t need a body of course, there was no one left here to see him, and it wasn‘t like Mahr would care.

Looking back up, he’d seem to see little pinpricks of light, but he wasn’t sure if his eyes were just playing tricks on him.

He lost their feeling as well, the distant knowledge that those were his stories with the few familiar souls playing their role inside. They didn‘t belong to him anymore and that was alright. He had seen enough stories and he knew that those would go on and find their own ending eventually.

He didn‘t notice at first when the worlds were far enough away that he couldn’t reach them anymore. He had watched them for so long that their little light were burned into his eyes, but as he blinked now, they were gone.

His heart started to beat faster when he realized that. Sitting up he looked around for any sign of life, but there was none. All there was was the glasslike surface beneath his hands and shadows. Mahr as well and Gavin balled his hands to fists. He needed the pain to remind himself where he ended, but by now it was hard to tell.

This around him was Mahr, but he was also Mahr. Deep inside he had known that for a long time, and when the demon rose now and broke through the surface separating them, he wasn‘t surprised by it.

_ Are you afraid of the dark, Gavin? _

Cold water pooled around his ankles, up to his tights as he sat there, but it wasn‘t clinging to him anymore. He could lift his arms just fine and welcome Mahr.

"Not anymore. The darkness has become my friend."

Mahr pressed against him in a near awkward sort of embrace, but Gavin made sure to close his arms around them. Claws settled on his back but they were gentle, not tearing at his skin.

"Is it over?"

_ Are you scared? _

Gavin thought about that for a moment, before he nodded.

_ You don‘t have to be. We‘re leaving this place now. _

"Will you take me to the Nether now?"

Mahr didn‘t answer that and Gavin hid his face against the demon. He was scared, yeah, because beneath waited something he didn‘t know, something new, and even if he wanted something different, anything that wasn‘t this play right here, he was still so tired.

The cold water went to his chest now, nearly freezing the heart in his chest.

_Close your eyes,_ Mahr requested and Gavin did as he was told before the demon pushed him under.

Water was rushing past him, in his ears and head and he didn‘t dare to take a breath to not get it into his lungs as well.

Then light hit him, shining even through his closed lids. Not red like he expected and still he didn‘t dare to open his eyes.

He landed on solid ground, falling over, and as he steadied himself his hands sunk into snow. He knew without looking; the waves still crashed against the shore. They hit the tip of his fingers.

"Why?" he whispered and braced himself before opening his eyes. The bright light of the winter day hurt and he had to blink before he could so much as actually see.

The lake was right before him, the ice thin enough to see the water beneath. It was pitch black and Gavin crawled the short distance to press his hands against the ice and see.

A single moonlit eye opened and looked up to him and Gavin tried to get to it. He didn‘t have to because Mahr was already rising from the beneath, a humanoid form that towered above him.

_ Will you take my hand once more, Gavin? _

Sitting up, he didn't even hesitate. He placed his own in the shadowy palm and felt all the water fall from him. It just disappeared from his heavy cloak and from inside his head and then from his skin. From that place in between his skin and flesh where it had carved so many pictures.

The feeling made him cry and when Mahr let him go, he barely caught himself. The coldness that had settled in his bones for so long was gone. He could feel again. The scrape on his hand that was bleeding onto the ice, the ache of a body that had traveled too far and another flavor of coldness. This one coming from the wind; a sharp, biting pain that could lull you so easily to sleep.

There was something else, something much more horrifying inside of his chest, and the sob breaking from his throat shook his whole body.

"This is it? This is me?" he asked, but Mahr didn‘t answer. Just a silent shadow above him, unaffected by the snow falling down on them.

Not noticing the gaping hole they had left inside of him.

It scared him more than any darkness ever had because for the first time since he could think he was truly and absolutely alone.

"I never knew... I never knew how empty I was without you," Gavin cried and buried his fingers into the snow and ice just to feel. "How very alone I was before there was you. How little  _ me  _ I actually am."

_ There is plenty of you left, _ Mahr assured him.  _ But this is where we part. _

"I thought you‘d stay with me! I thought that I‘d have at least you!"

He was begging, he knew but he hated being alone. Being alone was worse than any other thing he had ever experienced, and through it all there had been Mahr at least. Granted, not as his companion, not at first. But by now after everything… he couldn't imagine life without them.

_ Do you have one last wish for me, King Gavin Ramsey? _

He shook his head, reaching out for Mahr, but his hands just passed straight through the shadow as if it wasn‘t really there.

"I‘m all out of wishes, Mahr. I‘m sick and tired of them."

_ I understand. _

The demon kneeled before him then, their shadowy claws gently settling on Gavin‘s cheeks to make him look at them.

_ With this I terminate our contract. We are both free from each other from this moment on. _

"Don‘t leave me alone..."

But Mahr didn‘t answer. Their claws closed his eyes, careful not to hurt him and Gavin was plunged into darkness. A darkness so deep that after a moment he couldn‘t even feel the demon anymore. The shadows faded from his mind and soul, and after a while he just floated there, no place at all for his tired soul and no one around.

Then he heard a noise, very distant but so familiar. He followed it blindly until there was warmth, a warmth unlike one he had felt for so long, and when he opened his eyes he found out it was sunlight. Sunlight falling through a window and warming his skin. There weren‘t any marks left on his arms or hands and for a while he just stared at them, unsure if they belonged to him.

He was laying down in a bed, and by the Gods, he was so tired. He was sure he could sleep for days or even longer, but there was still that noise. A humming.

Turning around, he found someone sitting by his bed.

"Good morning, buddy."

"Jack," Gavin whispered.

And it was Jack just like he remembered. Kind Jack, warm Jack, the one who had held him tight through nightmares and danger and had never truly let go. The one who had died to find him.

Jack who now took his arm only to slip a silver bracelet onto his wrist. A little worn but formed like a crown. It reflected the sunlight a little.

"You didn‘t wear it when you left, so I took it with me. You always liked it."

Gavin touched the bracelet with shaking fingers and turned it around his wrist like he had done thousands of times before. It had always given him comfort, something to occupy his fingers with when he was nervous.

Sitting up, he freed his hand from Jack‘s and checked on the shadows in the room. There weren‘t many because of the sunlight that usually didn‘t reach so far into this room.  _ His  _ room.

The room that had become his prison of shadows.

"What is this?"

"Home," Jack answered and Gavin had to fight down a shiver.

"Is this... real? Are you-"

He didn‘t know how to ask, how to figure out Mahr‘s newest trick, but his skin- His skin was unmarked and when he reached for his shoulder to find the demon there, he just brushed against something soft. A scarf,  _his_ scarf, and he let the green fabric run through his fingers. Worn down by all those years.

Jack‘s hand cupped his face and carefully wiped traces of old tears away.

"No need to be scared," he explained to him, and oh Gods, even his skin felt familiar. Rough but gentle. "You‘re not alone anymore."

Gavin stared at him and slowly felt the shock fade. It was Jack. This was his Jack and no one else. There was no shadow in the other‘s eyes, no ill will, just the unconditional love that had allowed him to trust in the first place.

"Jack," he whispered again and then he was slipping out of the bed and Jack was there. Jack was there to catch him in his strong embrace, right there where nothing could ever hurt him and Gavin soaked it up. All the love and warmth and colors that was Jack, too many to truly grasp it.

And Jack was holding him so tight, a hand on his back and the other in his hair.

Gods above, he was loved.

"You surely took your time."

And there by the door Geoff was leaning against the frame. His long green cloak that was so warm and could lock out any and all the bad things.

He wasn‘t even mad, even though he had every right to be, and still Gavin feared his wrath. After all he had sent him away, had rejected his wishes, but it was hard to be scared. Not when he was still pressed close to Jack.

"Geoff, I‘m so so-"

"I said I‘d find you again."

He had, and wasn‘t everything else not important then? Right now it wasn’t, they had time to figure everything else out later.

Letting go of Jack, he ran towards Geoff and was caught. There it was again, the scents sprinkled on Geoff that promised endless stories, and Gavin buried his face against his chest.

There was Jack as well, a hand warm on his back, and Gavin wanted to cry but tears weren‘t enough. His heart felt like it would just burst if he just let it.

"We‘ve all been waiting for you," Geoff said, and now Gavin could hear voices. Familiar ones right behind the door, and now there really were tears welling up behind his eyelids.

Still, when Geoff reached for the door he shook his head.

"Wait."

He knew this wasn‘t all, because they had been connected for too long he could feel them nearby. Before there had been a pressure on his wrist, like a string cutting into his skin, but over time he had grown used to it. Now this pressure was gone, just a warm reminder around his hand but, he wasn’t ready to go on yet.

When Gavin turned around, he was just in time to see the movement beneath his bed. Kneeling down, he peered beneath to search for his monster and found Mahr huddled in the back.

"You like stories, don‘t you?" he asked them and reached out his unmarked hand. He wouldn‘t allow it to be tarnished again, but Mahr had showed him their form of love by letting him go.

"Let‘s enjoy this new story together, Mahr."

_ Foolish boy. _ But he could feel the demon smile.  _ This universe was made just to be seen by  _ your  _ eyes. _

And with that they disappeared. Forever gone from his shadow or beneath his bed or inside his wardrobe, to maybe haunt someone else. Somehow Gavin doubted that though, he knew that their story together had moved the demon as well.

Letting his arm drop, he already missed the other, and wasn‘t that ridiculous? It probably was, but this whole thing was. He had stopped caring about that long ago.

Behind him Geoff and Jack were still waiting for him and when he reached up, they each took one of his hands to pull him up.

When they went to open the door this time, he didn‘t stop them. Behind it was the room he had spent so many days in. The bookshelves in the corner, the fireplace that wasn‘t lit because it wasn‘t needed on a summer day. The fur before it where he loved to sit.

Ryan and Jeremy were at the entrance, looking like they had just come in as they talked with each other. Not a day older than when Gavin had last seen them.

On the desk were a bunch of cards and Ray was already preparing a pile just for him to play. Michael was sitting in his favorite chair, legs up on the arm rest and no sword by his side.

Here it wasn‘t needed.

Gavin squeezed both Geoff‘s and Jack‘s hand but didn‘t yet dare to let go. Only when Jack leaned forward, warm and protecting and infinite.

"Welcome home, buddy."

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we go! That's the ending of the multiverse. Wow, what a ride!
> 
> Thanks to everyone who kept around to explore this multiverse with me - it was a TON of fun!


	7. Playlist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monster, monster under my bed  
Come out and play 'cause I need a friend  
You're so damn close that I feel your breath  
You're the only one I have left

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first version of this playlist had 23 songs - cutting that down to a more manageable matter was a battle in itself though.

**Winter's Lullaby**

_ \- The universe was made -  _

_ \- Just to be seen by my eyes - _

  
  
[Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLWQbs1V1HCsjfb9OSclaRxDXqFeKktWb6)

[Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7Kf5bbk8O6GbJW77tmMT86?si=sTn0IMYCQBKnMiTIi4k7wA)

**Dark Star: End Transmission** \-  _ Hypnogaja _

Dark Star; fading faster

  
  


**You Won’t Find Me** \-  _ Narrow Skies _

Steal each breath

Cut through my skin

And blow winter wind

Give me time here

In the silence

And freeze, freeze, bitter sky

  
  


**Gloria Regali** \-  _ Tommee Profitt, Fleurie _

Crowned in glory

Fear no more

Winter's misery

Or the coming war

Gloria regali

Peace and understanding

Forever may you reign

  
  


**Where The Skies End** \-  _ Starset _

We left our chains

We left them below

We are all rising above

We were not born to stay low

We won't just fall away

We weren't just born to fade

Our stories are past the horizon

We're chasing the sun till we find them

  
  


**Monster (Under My Bed)** \-  _ Call Me Karizma _

Monster, monster under my bed

Come out and play 'cause I need a friend

You're so damn close that I feel your breath

You're the only one I have left

My eyelids are the door

My mind is the coffin

And just as they're closing

You come from the closet

And sing the lullaby you taught me

  
  


**Monster** \- _Starset_

This is the world you've created

The product of what I've become

My soul and my youth

Seems it's all for you to use

If I could take back the moment

I let you get under my skin

Relent or resist?

Seems the monster always wins

I've lost the parts of me that make me whole

I’m the darkness

I'm the monster

  
  


**Winter’s Song** \-  _ Tommee Profitt, Fleurie _

Be my true fortress

Shield from my foe

Keep me in reverence

And lay thy head low

I searched the world to find you

I searched the world to find you

I searched the world to find you

Keeper of thy word

Keeper of thy word

**Various Storms And Saints** \-  _ Florence and The Machine _

But still you stumble, feet give way

Outside the world seems a violent place

But you had to have him, and so you did

Some things you let go in order to live

While all around you the buildings sway

You sing it out loud: “who made us this way?”

I know you're bleeding, but you'll be okay

Hold on to your heart, you'll keep it safe

Hold on to your heart, don't give it away

The monument of a memory

You tear it down in your head

Don't make the mountain your enemy

Get out, get up there instead

You saw the stars out in front of you

Too tempting not to touch

  
  


**Where Butterflies Never Die** \-  _ Broken Iris _

Multiply humanity

Harmonize insanity

Shedding light of remedy

Pulling tides of clarity

Shattered glass in flower beds

Humanize inhumane ends

It's all the same for the dreamers

It's all the same for us

  
  


**Saturn** \- _Sleeping At Last_

I'd give anything to hear

You say it one more time

That the universe was made

Just to be seen by my eyes

With shortness of breath

I'll explain the infinite

How rare and beautiful it truly is 

That we exist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't mention it but the song Winter's Song did not only inspire the title of this final part but also Gavin's and Geoff's relationship. Geoff found Gavin again; in many, many worlds out there.


End file.
